(09-06-2024, 03:36 AM)Misstie6731 Wrote:

(09-06-2024, 03:31 AM)茶 Tea Wrote: ever notice how the only people railing against cliques are all friends with each other? friends who back each other up for all sorts of nasty behavior? there is only one group here that displays cliquish behavior. but even that's not really true. my guess is that before you met each other, around 2015, you all had the exact same opinions about the exact same women in gaming, opinions you never grew out of. in other words, your complaint is that people share the same opinions because they are friends with each other. my contention is that people who tend to share the same outlook on the world tend to become friends. that doesn't mean that all people in the same friend group share the exact same opinion on everything, but it does mean that if you see yourself as the perpetual victim, you naturally seek out others who see themselves the same way.

I know you are speaking of a friend group I am a part of and I can tell you this is further from the truth, we call bullshit like we see it, even with each other. We disagree ALL THE TIME but we are all still friends, because we have the mental capacity to think critically about situations and understand that shit ain't serious all the time. I have told my friends when something they said is fucked up and they need to change, and they have done it vice versa. we aren't just a bunch of dick riders who hype each other up.

(09-06-2024, 07:32 AM)dong Wrote: I don’t think the clique v clique nonsense is the real issue here to be quite honest. You’d be hard pressed to realize that most of your targets don’t use pc or talk gmod anymore. I think the overall sloppiness and lack of real remorse from upper staff is what most people are concerned about from what I’ve read here and have heard way down in the tunnels. Almost everything since those bans have read like poor justifications and no real apology. Is it that hard to admit that it was rushed and that you were genuinely wrong? Use your big admin voices if you feel like the overall team is drifting towards the wrong decision. You’re supposed to be leaders not let yourselves get pushed over.

There’s also no need to drag in the other place considering most of the migrants left completely silent and without issue. The story that’s posted on this thread about that is very misleading.

(09-06-2024, 03:31 AM)茶 Tea Wrote: ever notice how the only people railing against cliques are all friends with each other? friends who back each other up for all sorts of nasty behavior? there is only one group here that displays cliquish behavior. but even that's not really true. my guess is that before you met each other, around 2015, you all had the exact same opinions about the exact same women in gaming, opinions you never grew out of. in other words, your complaint is that people share the same opinions because they are friends with each other. my contention is that people who tend to share the same outlook on the world tend to become friends. that doesn't mean that all people in the same friend group share the exact same opinion on everything, but it does mean that if you see yourself as the perpetual victim, you naturally seek out others who see themselves the same way.

(09-06-2024, 01:05 PM)coco Wrote: I debated whether or not I should post this, slept on it, and decided that the community could use some transparency right now. It's absolutely not my intention and never has been my intention to get anyone into trouble, cause drama, or drag out any drama unnecessarily. I just feel like I owe it to Jack to clarify some details about the situation.

After sharing screenshots in a private discord, I was approached by an admin in DMs asking to resend the screenshots there and asking if they could share the screenshots in admin chat. I said sure, shared the screenshots again and said all of the following- "i don't want them publicly posted', "like i feel bad using those against him cause as u can see i respond to uncomfortable situations with 'lol' rather than 'please stop making me uncomfortable' lmfao so i feel like i cant really hold it against him too much but yeah", "he apologized for everything", "i don't really care we're cool' (referring to Jack and I).

Now, logically I should have known that sharing them with the admins meant something bad would come of it, but I was genuinely just trying to be helpful and didn't really think twice to consider what the consequences might be or what they would be used for. Had I been told that they would be used as evidence for a ban on Jack, I would have absolutely specifically stated that I did not want that and those were not my intentions when sharing the screenshots. I had no idea Jack was 'under investigation' or anything of the sort. Do I feel like the admin should have been more forthcoming about what they were being used for? Maybe, but the blame is not entirely on them, because had I thought twice about the situation I would have connected the dots.

I absolutely admit my fault here in certain aspects of the situation. I should have never shared the screenshots to the discord in the first place, my intentions when doing so weren't ever to get Jack in trouble, my intentions were purely just an immature 'look at this awkward interaction haha' and I never ever should have shared them for a laugh at his expense. I deeply regret it and recognize how shitty it was of me, and have absolutely learned my lesson.

An important takeaway here for me (and everyone I believe) is that context is soo important in situations like these. While the screenshots themselves may have not looked great, they did not include the context of the situation, which was that in a stupid effort to avoid awkwardness, I failed to ever let him know that I was uncomfortable with some of the things he said. There was never a set boundary that was crossed, he never said anything with malicious intent, and I now know that if I had ever mentioned I was uncomfortable he would have stopped that line of conversation immediately. Since all of this has went down I have actively been making an effort to 1 treat everyone the way I would like to be treated and 2 be honest with people about how I feel rather than laughing things off just to avoid an awkward conversation.

All in all I feel really terrible about this whole thing. I have apologized to Jack directly but felt I owed it to him to try to publicly shed some light on the situation that I had a hand in causing. So Jack, again, I am sooo beyond sorry for how I behaved and I am so grateful you could forgive me and that we are friends!

Now, as for the 'victim' that falsified evidence/lied to the admins and others, I am of the opinion they should receive at least the same punishment that Jack received, if not harsher. As for the admins who handled this situation back in April, I do have sympathy for them as it was definitely a tricky situation and I myself right now can't say how I would've handled it, but regardless at the end of the day it was handled incorrectly and all I'm going to say about that is I think an apology would go a long way. 

That's all I really have to say right now but I'm happy to answer any questions here or in discord DMs!

(09-06-2024, 01:05 PM)coco Wrote: I debated whether or not I should post this, slept on it, and decided that the community could use some transparency right now. It's absolutely not my intention and never has been my intention to get anyone into trouble, cause drama, or drag out any drama unnecessarily. I just feel like I owe it to Jack to clarify some details about the situation.

After sharing screenshots in a private discord, I was approached by an admin in DMs asking to resend the screenshots there and asking if they could share the screenshots in admin chat. I said sure, shared the screenshots again and said all of the following- "i don't want them publicly posted', "like i feel bad using those against him cause as u can see i respond to uncomfortable situations with 'lol' rather than 'please stop making me uncomfortable' lmfao so i feel like i cant really hold it against him too much but yeah", "he apologized for everything", "i don't really care we're cool' (referring to Jack and I).

Now, logically I should have known that sharing them with the admins meant something bad would come of it, but I was genuinely just trying to be helpful and didn't really think twice to consider what the consequences might be or what they would be used for. Had I been told that they would be used as evidence for a ban on Jack, I would have absolutely specifically stated that I did not want that and those were not my intentions when sharing the screenshots. I had no idea Jack was 'under investigation' or anything of the sort. Do I feel like the admin should have been more forthcoming about what they were being used for? Maybe, but the blame is not entirely on them, because had I thought twice about the situation I would have connected the dots.

I absolutely admit my fault here in certain aspects of the situation. I should have never shared the screenshots to the discord in the first place, my intentions when doing so weren't ever to get Jack in trouble, my intentions were purely just an immature 'look at this awkward interaction haha' and I never ever should have shared them for a laugh at his expense. I deeply regret it and recognize how shitty it was of me, and have absolutely learned my lesson.

An important takeaway here for me (and everyone I believe) is that context is soo important in situations like these. While the screenshots themselves may have not looked great, they did not include the context of the situation, which was that in a stupid effort to avoid awkwardness, I failed to ever let him know that I was uncomfortable with some of the things he said. There was never a set boundary that was crossed, he never said anything with malicious intent, and I now know that if I had ever mentioned I was uncomfortable he would have stopped that line of conversation immediately. Since all of this has went down I have actively been making an effort to 1 treat everyone the way I would like to be treated and 2 be honest with people about how I feel rather than laughing things off just to avoid an awkward conversation.

All in all I feel really terrible about this whole thing. I have apologized to Jack directly but felt I owed it to him to try to publicly shed some light on the situation that I had a hand in causing. So Jack, again, I am sooo beyond sorry for how I behaved and I am so grateful you could forgive me and that we are friends!

Now, as for the 'victim' that falsified evidence/lied to the admins and others, I am of the opinion they should receive at least the same punishment that Jack received, if not harsher. As for the admins who handled this situation back in April, I do have sympathy for them as it was definitely a tricky situation and I myself right now can't say how I would've handled it, but regardless at the end of the day it was handled incorrectly and all I'm going to say about that is I think an apology would go a long way. 

That's all I really have to say right now but I'm happy to answer any questions here or in discord DMs!

(09-06-2024, 09:37 PM)Ryan722 Wrote:  I'm personally of the opinion that we should handle this balance of expected confidentiality differently for permanently unappealable community bans, versus these relatively new "all-server" bans.