When I was 13 I tried to fuck a banana.

It wasn't peeled and was so painful, I ended up squishing it with my vagina, contracting in pain. Then the peel popped open inside me. I felt this and panicked to pull the banana out. It was just a peel now. I had a banana smoothie in my vagina. I pushed to give birth to this banana abomination but it didn't come out because the fruit was sticking to my walls. I went in with my fingers and scraped out as much banana as I could before my mom tried to talk to me. I rushed to get out of the bathroom with the scent of banana afterbirth on my body, praying she wouldn't question the banana peel and chunks in the bathroom garbage can. Looking back, she probably noticed them, but I'm still grateful she never asked and let me get away. I have enough regret from this.