[Scraggly Poggers]

So I'm sorry if this is a shitpost, I just really want to vent right now and don't have an outlet currently available to me that I'm ok with so I'm using the forums to vent. Take this as you wish, I just needed to write it out for my own sanity. Sorry in advanced if it seems like me asking for sympathy or attention, blah, blah, blah. It's not my intent, I just wanna vent and say a thank you at the end, so skip to the end if you don't wanna read about my personal life, at least not any of the current stuff.


So my week started out with the ban, but that's not my main point and I don't want that dragged up again, last Thursday. It sucked, but I didn't leave it alone and kept arguing against it as some who saw that thread know. That was Thursday's bad stuff, but I ended up extremely physically ill on Friday after that, and I have yet to get over it. It started with near constant throwing up and coughing, so I had to stay home instead of going to school or job hunting like I had planned. I was still contesting the ban at that point, so I was working myself up over that as well. That was how I spent the majority of Friday, throwing up and wheezing while arguing on the forums throughout the day.

On Saturday I have a really fuzzy memory of it. I believe I was still arguing against my ban, but I may be wrong about that. I ended up driving my friend to do some thing and stuff for 120 dollars, 40 of which I spent on beanies and gas, so the beanies helped lighten my weekend slightly as I was excited by my purchase. My mother ended up in the hospital Sunday night, she was sick with pneumonia, and stayed there until today. Today being Thursday of course, while I was wheezing and coughing. I had to take the bus to school instead of being driven, minor annoyance/problem in all honesty, where I ended up passing out at lunch and pushing through the rest of the day because suck it up and walk it off.

On Tuesday I had to play a concert, something I had to do so that I didn't fail Band class this quarter, instead of visiting my mom in the hospital. After it all, I managed to take some medicine to prevent me coughing and such for a while, I decided to ask out the girl I've been pining after and had a crush on for two years. Little backstory, she liked me for a while and then I didn't make a move so she went on and dated another guy who I later became friends with. Eventually they broke up and she and I grew close again, a few months ago I ended up admitting my feelings to her. She told me that I did in fact stand a chance, but she wasn't ready for a relationship at that point. Like I said, I asked her out on Tuesday. She told me that now just wasn't a great time, so I assume it was a gentle "Nah man, not right now." I wish I had more info, but she avoids me like the plague right now so I can't talk to her and tell her that I'm fine with us staying friends.

So now, broken heart and all, I tried turning to my closest friend that I can currently speak with, but she's going through a break-up and it'd be douchey of me to try and push my problems on her right now. A mixture of depression and extreme anxiety are fucking with my life because hormones and fucked up childhood, no one needs that tired and tried tale in all honesty, make up whatever you like.

I've been trying to get a job, so I blanketed the area recently and received a rejection from nearly all of them this past week. My family is burdened with my car insurance right now, something I'm not exactly comfortable with because I dislike being as dependent on them as I am right now. No where is hiring, but I haven't lost hope yet since not every rejection has come back.

My stepfather was being a huge dick about "being the only parent at home" despite him only having to deal with my kid sister this entire time since I intentionally stayed out as late as I can to lighten his at home burden. He's been all yelly and shit, but he's been quiet now that my mother is home and resting.

Outside of that festival of suck I did get to have dinner with my stepmom and younger sister, so that was a big help to be able to strengthen the bond that has weakened over the past couple years.

Now that I've wrote all that, time to move on to my thank you. I'd like to thank all the people of this community for just being around. I don't ever really talk about my personal life and try to be generally light-hearted and joking on the server. Even with my quick temper when it comes to my role as a DTMod (Yes, you can tease me about that just don't be a cunt) I always enjoy the community. Everyone, usually, is funny and making the game a challenge for me to play. It's a great escape from reality and something I look forward to doing when I have the chance to login and be active on the server. Even those of you in staff/the general community that I've had arguments and disagreements with, we have almost always shared a laugh at some point. You guys bring a ray of light into my life in it's darkest points, and I want to genuinely thank you for that. I know I'm not the greatest or easiest person to get along with, nor the best at my job, but I really do try my best even if it seems like I'm not. Fuck off (In a joking way) to all of you who tease me for being bad at TMod and a huge thank you to all the staff that have given me advice on doing better in my role. I know it takes a lot of patience with me, something I'm always pushing the boundaries of, and I'm kind of a cynical dick. Like I said, I really do wanna thank you all for brightening my life despite my asshole-ness and annoying/obnoxious nature.

[Linfalas]

Came back and he immediately is doing his job as TMOD on a server that needed it. I know very little but he is doing his job right now.

[jagged]

Ripperinos my dude.
Feel better soon, hope everything gets better