[tons4583]

TSo it's come to some staff attention that moderate was going to cuba. We didn't know why until an unnamed source informed us that he's actually trans-continental. Some of you might not know what this is, so here's a quick rundown. He is trying to transition from Cuban to Canadian. He was born and raised on a Cuban chicken farm. And currently resides there, hence why he's a shit player. I'm asking all to help him through this and support him. We will get through this together! We know it won't be an Easy streetâ„¢®.

[[red]Moderate_]

I have never been so sincere in saying this:





KILL YOURSELF

[tons4583]

I have never been so sincere in saying this:





KILL YOURSELF

It's ok. We're here for you.

[Vihntage]

We got this information from his girlfriend, she's very concerned for his health.





You can also tell he's cuban if you examine his profile picture closely. We ask that you not be mad at Moderate, he' s going through tough times trying to find out who he truly is. Thank you for understanding.

[Deadpoolz]

This seems too important for "General Discussion".

[Franklin Brosevelt]

This thread is the epitome of this community.

[Vihntage]

We have an official statement from Moderate, it took him a while to finally admit it.

"Ever since I was a child I have felt like a Canadian who does not believe in paragraph breaks. From a young age I was extremely uncomfortable with my nationality and also with formatting texts posts over one hundred words. For example, I would rub maple syrup against my body and use my mom's cigars to smash the enter key on my keyboard, so that I would feel pretty and Canadian, and not have the temptation to do anything to make my life story more readable when I post it for strangers on the internet to analyze. I figure that since I am only 25, it will not be a problem for people to read a summary of my entire life in the form of a single run-on paragraph, and also I will probably have a good chance of passing since I am still somewhat young and have lot of time to make changes. During geography class I always secretly thought of myself as a canadian and would play the Canadian national anthem on my iPod. As a result of being so Canadian I was bullied a lot in school, and therefore missed the day in computer class when we learned about how to divide digital texts into separate sections by inserting line breaks. On the day we learned that, I stayed home from school and pretended that I was a maple leaf emperor with the power to declare that nobody in the kingdom should write in paragraph form ever again. I would lie in bed at night praying that I would wake up to be a Canadian who ignores all conventions of readability and post formatting, and also gets to wear montriel apparel and open doors for people and say sorry. Furthermore throughout my life, whenever someone has mistaken me for a Canadian (like when my teacher would shake her head and say, 'his canadia is good but he doesn't grasp the format of a five paragraph essay at all' after I turned in my analysis of Lord of the Flies as a single spaced 12 point font three page block of unreadable text jumping at random between different points in the narrative and lacking a thesis of any kind) I would be very happy and would smile for the rest of the day. I discovered the Reddit trans-continental community when I was in college, and when I saw it I knew that I also wanted to be one of the people who made others' eyes glaze over by pouring out their life narratives without pausing for breath and proudly declared that he was Canadian not caring what anyone else thinks of his nationality or his ability to insert spacing into thousands of words of heartfelt memories fears and continental dysphoria being posted to public view. I know that society is continelphobic and sometimes I feel afraid, but then I think, screw them just like I am screwing over my readers right now by making them navigate this impenetrable wall of text in order to be able to help me with my problems, and I believe that I could successfully transition to Canadian one day. However, though all my life I have wanted nothing more than to become a Canadian, still I am afraid that the 2% of readers who can successfully process my novella-length incoherent ramblings will disagree and say I am just a confused Cuban who is barking up the wrong tree in a series of loosely-connected clauses that continue without any discernible pattern or end-goal! These doubts make me nervous that I might not actually be trans even though I am sure that I identify as a CANADIAN who lacks any semblance of an ability to write in a coherent fashion."

[ReThink]

@"Moderate Hurricane Weather" , probably: 

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo." -Moderate H.C.

[TDawg4]

Shhh @"Moderate Hurricane Weather" Soon you will be a canadian, but not with that attitude... canadians dont kill...

Also send your condolences to @"Moderate Hurricane Weather" it has been revealed that all of his chickens have recently passed away from starvation.

[City]

Yes the Hurricane spared Florida!