06-30-2018, 06:13 AM
(This post was last modified: 06-30-2018, 06:14 AM by Trojan_Kaisar.)
It is I, Lord Shit post, and I donated 14 days for the legacy forums. I haven't been online in a long time. April 2016, there was a forum discussion called the great thing called life. Lately I've been telling people my story of depression and shit and found it a lot easy to link them to my post rather then reading it or explaining it to them. Anyways, is there anyway to transfer a thread from legacy to here even though its dead?
https://dinklebergsttt.enjin.com/forum/m...alled-life
Below is I'm going to repost what I said so I can reference it far better, then having to donate days to the old forums. Sorry if this makes anyone upset or thinking this is another shitpost, but I'm just posting it here to leave it in Dinkttt where I opened up a lot. Better here than anywhere else. Thanks for being a bit of my life peeps. I posted this when I was 16, now I'm 19.
Well it all started when I was born...
The year was 1999 my mom was short and my life (expectancy) was long. I grew up in a small town in the country that had roughly 300 people. I went to school in a neighboring town which was 5 minutes from where I lived which had 6000ish people. My older brother and I always argued and faught, but I was the only one ever getting really punished. standing in the corner, belt whoopin's bare ass belt whoopin's whatever they really wanted to do as a punishment. I lived at my grandparents with my uncle (Mechanic) and my other uncle (Tow Boat Captain) as my mom was going to college at the time.I never had a dad or at least knew who he was. I still don't, and what's even fucked up is my Birthday falls on Father's Day. (June 15th) Anyways I continued to go to school and not having friends as my grandpa was against having friends since he was sort of a control freak. I didn't do any sports for the same reason. I mainly kept to myself as my brother had very little to do with me unless it benefited him such as him saying he would play 2 Player on the Paystation if I got him an Ice Cream Sandwich (this is a story within itself) Dispite me doing things he never did play with me. Anytime I would so much as annoy him or hit him once he would go crying to my mom who always busted my ass or had my grandpa do it and when I did the same thing they always just gave him warnings and he was their precious angel. As 3rd grade came around, one of my grandpa's church friends hang said here daughter and two grandchildren were coming down from Arizona to move in with her. the next day they came down and I met the older of the two which was the same age asd me and her name was Destany. I had a biggg crush on her and she asked me about it later and I fessed up saying I did. We became great friends as the years had gone by. Notice key word friends... Life at home was the same with me and my older brother. We argue then he goes crying to get me in trouble in which most of the time he would instigate. He is like 3 grades above me that being said. 5th Grade comes around and my mom has a bachlor's degree and becomes a teacher at a small school district that I move to the foillowing year. Between 5th grade and my first year at the new school My Brother, Mom, and I moved out to a house about 20 mins away from my grandparents as well as I went to bum-fuck Iowa. Nothing but corn for miles and miles for hours. My aunt and uncle live there though, but honestly it was worth it to see them once, but not worth the trip to and from. My first year at the new school is sort of shitty. No friends cept a guy who went transfered to my old school then back to my current one. I used to love being smart as my old district commended thouse who were and everyone was happy, but from 6th grade to roughly until 8th I was constantly bullied for either not having a girlfriend or being smart. Constantly called a nerd and physically bullied being shoved and hit mostly by some big bulky prick who I got back my 9th grade year at football practice. He pulled the back of my hair sticking through my helmet when I told him to do it again. as he did it again I put his in a headlock and choked him out when the 4 coaches finally got me to let him go. After practice the all said nice job as they knew he bulied me. My 9th grade year had to be one of the best though in Survey of Ag we would always find someway of fucking with our teacher Mr. Smith. From spraying axe and lighting it on fire to making bird sounds when he was in the shop and not the class room. One point someone turned on the Eye wash station and flooded the place when we had a sub in whihc me and 2 other guys were blamed for it. he wouldnt let us come into the shop for about the last month of school so I took all his lesson plan books and lifted the ceiling tiles and put then in the ceiling and thats where they remained until he redid the messed up tiles the year. From 9th grade until now I have had soul crushing anxiety and depression. From roughly April of 9th grade I had been really low and then I got a message from a weird number really late when I was about to kill myself. It said a guardian angel watches over you and loves you. This was shortly after the NSA Scandal and I was paranoid this was the nsa and after about 1 hour after paranoia this person finally revealed themself as my kindergarten and first grade crush (not the chick from arizona) We talked a few days and ended up dating until roughly July when my depression was to much and my cutting got a lot worse and she dumped me and I ended up trying to end it again and turns out she tried over dosing as well. School had started my 10th grade year andI began dating another girl who was a grade below me. She had a haircut like Scrillix like shaved on one side Her parents were trying to make things up and were talking about devorice, but we dated and she was depressed as well and would always disliked when I said I loved her. We broke up around september and got together again a few days later after I had a relapse and cut. We got together again and broke up the week before homecomming. I had began talking to the ex who saved my life and se had my heart and I loved her to death. She was my world. At the homecomming game Scrillix chick had one of her friends ask me to go over there with her and that Scrillix chick wanted to get back together with me. I told her I couldnt do it and finally I told her I was with someone else. For the duration of the game her cronies told me that I should dump the love of my life for her and that she was ugly dispite even seeing her to pursuade me to get back with her. I left the game early almost in tears and wanted to cut again with the pencil sharpener blade I found at the pep-rally. I vent a little to my love. We were happy the next couple of weeks when she dyumped me again on I believe Nov. 7th. It was a wednesday night after church when she did it saying her dad was against it as she lived too far away when I could walk from my grandparents to her house if I wanted. The next morning I check my facebook sad as hell as she had gotten together with her best friend. I was heartbroken and texted her saying wtf. She said she stil loved me and that was my worst mistake beieving it as she continued to text me until I would argue with myself until my mind was torn betwen two people. I finally pushed her out of my life in mid-dec after I went to her Birthday party which I promised to go to which I sat by myself in the cold just right ofut of the bonfire's reach. When I got home I found an uno card in my shirt when I went to take a shower and I placed it in my wallet where it currently is today, when she came back in febuary and I texted her. She was going through a lot at home with abusive parents and she had somehow convinced me to steal my uncles keys and at 3am and I almost went outside and in the truck whenI talked to my awake uncle about it and she calmed me down. I was crazy and frantic and was texting my 2 friends I had made in 10th grade. The second semester of 10th grade was rough though. I need to go back to Halloween when I had shadowed my moms new school so I would know if I wanted to transfer or not. I met a girl who was a senior. She had an amazing smile, a soft tone voice, as well as short hair. She was stunning and gorgous. I spent the night at her house in Dec. and we spent the night playing COD: Ghost and we had a tickle fight that sorta went to cuddling. Anyways over Chirstmas brea we hung out went to the movies and held hands and went to walmart with her grabbing my arm with me her escort. On the first day of school she texted she didnt feel well and I said well 8th period I'll hgug you. She replyed saying no, people would think we were together. My depression got worse as the mixed signals were another punch in the face with the love of my life leaving me. e continued to talk as friends and I told her about my derpression and she helped a lot. I eventually was sucked into something which had me considering overdosing. It was 4am and I finally told her well, I'll prob end it once you go to college I don't want you seeing me in a wood box. I get very hard headed when I am low. I told her that I was heading to bed and she said okay please dont do anything stupid I replied with I will do my best I guess. anyways I woke up with my mom on the end of my bed asking why I wanted to kill myself and I didnt tell her anything. she then told me that my brother didnt have any special treatment dispite me being the one who got all the punishments, but my derpession was origanlly caused by something I wont say her or mention to anyone. She then said I'm sorry you had such a sorry life and left my room before coming back in to tell me not to be mad at the short haired senior and to tell her I was sorry. My new crush ended up telling me that she had told and showed him the text the art teacher who told her to bring it to the counsiler who told my mom about it. I told her I wasnt mad. The next day at school nobody even talked to me about it. The counciler, (the person who should do their job and talk to people with problms like these didnt even bother talking to me) everything wass fine and dandy appernetly. A few weeks later my mom told me in the hallway not to hurt myself then quickly shanged it to don't kill yourself and then laughed. My Crush and I hung out revealing that she liked me but wanted to wait until I graduated to date, but we liked each other and I continued to text her until the present and we are somewhat good friends now, but now barely talk or text. At the end of the school year mom took me to get my Drivers liscence on june 15th my bday and I filled out job applications. I then went to Warped Tour and had the Time of my life. 11th Grade happened and I am still the emo kid at my new school as every thought I was Gay when I first moved there as I dressed in mainly black and wore skinny jeans. I have several girls hounding over me and I have a stalker who is a grade above me who follows me aroudn campus and wants hugs when I pass her in the hallway. mom has taken care of it mostly by giving her dad a call. 11th grade is going well exept I barely talk to anyone anymore outside of school and mainly stay to myself. Lost my virginity which is another story lol in October. Best Car sex I've had jajajaja. but it was to some chick before I got my job at the grocery store. We still talk and are more like friends with beneifits, but once again depression stiked and I got a speeding ticket with a friend I was going to dinner with and I said, hey my luck is I'm going to get into a wreck tommarow. Sure e-fucking-nuff I get into a fender bender while AVOIDING another wreck. I said fuck it and took 24 tylernols which was a dumbass idea, but other shit made me sink lower than the wreck ever thought it could make me. that was a sunday night whenI took the pills, I texted my short hair friend that I was sorry and she told me you better force yourself to puke or I'm calling 911 I purged then out and woke up sick the following morning which was my 1st day at my job. A lot more shit hit the fan since then but it deals with a girl who is a whore who made me trust her and then trust her again the like last thursday who fucked me over, but I expected it and don't give a fuck lol. I haven't cut in a few weeks but thats a hell of a lot better than the old me. no suicidal thoughts which are also good. I also find it nice That I help other people with their problems, but I can;t solve my own. I'm sgtill here and holding on to life for what it can give me so I guess I've got a life ahead of me. Also, there is a guy on my Steam friends list who has to be one of the most important people. He has been my friend since I made my first steam account back in 2014 or 2012ish. I can;t remember. but he helped e get through my hard times and I owe him a lot. his names Talo on my Friends list don't add him though lol he doesn't take to kindly to random people. If anyone has hit rough spots in their life that they wnna talk about just message me, I'd be glad to help you and you can vent as much as you want to me.
Posted Apr 19, 16
https://dinklebergsttt.enjin.com/forum/m...alled-life
Below is I'm going to repost what I said so I can reference it far better, then having to donate days to the old forums. Sorry if this makes anyone upset or thinking this is another shitpost, but I'm just posting it here to leave it in Dinkttt where I opened up a lot. Better here than anywhere else. Thanks for being a bit of my life peeps. I posted this when I was 16, now I'm 19.
Well it all started when I was born...
The year was 1999 my mom was short and my life (expectancy) was long. I grew up in a small town in the country that had roughly 300 people. I went to school in a neighboring town which was 5 minutes from where I lived which had 6000ish people. My older brother and I always argued and faught, but I was the only one ever getting really punished. standing in the corner, belt whoopin's bare ass belt whoopin's whatever they really wanted to do as a punishment. I lived at my grandparents with my uncle (Mechanic) and my other uncle (Tow Boat Captain) as my mom was going to college at the time.I never had a dad or at least knew who he was. I still don't, and what's even fucked up is my Birthday falls on Father's Day. (June 15th) Anyways I continued to go to school and not having friends as my grandpa was against having friends since he was sort of a control freak. I didn't do any sports for the same reason. I mainly kept to myself as my brother had very little to do with me unless it benefited him such as him saying he would play 2 Player on the Paystation if I got him an Ice Cream Sandwich (this is a story within itself) Dispite me doing things he never did play with me. Anytime I would so much as annoy him or hit him once he would go crying to my mom who always busted my ass or had my grandpa do it and when I did the same thing they always just gave him warnings and he was their precious angel. As 3rd grade came around, one of my grandpa's church friends hang said here daughter and two grandchildren were coming down from Arizona to move in with her. the next day they came down and I met the older of the two which was the same age asd me and her name was Destany. I had a biggg crush on her and she asked me about it later and I fessed up saying I did. We became great friends as the years had gone by. Notice key word friends... Life at home was the same with me and my older brother. We argue then he goes crying to get me in trouble in which most of the time he would instigate. He is like 3 grades above me that being said. 5th Grade comes around and my mom has a bachlor's degree and becomes a teacher at a small school district that I move to the foillowing year. Between 5th grade and my first year at the new school My Brother, Mom, and I moved out to a house about 20 mins away from my grandparents as well as I went to bum-fuck Iowa. Nothing but corn for miles and miles for hours. My aunt and uncle live there though, but honestly it was worth it to see them once, but not worth the trip to and from. My first year at the new school is sort of shitty. No friends cept a guy who went transfered to my old school then back to my current one. I used to love being smart as my old district commended thouse who were and everyone was happy, but from 6th grade to roughly until 8th I was constantly bullied for either not having a girlfriend or being smart. Constantly called a nerd and physically bullied being shoved and hit mostly by some big bulky prick who I got back my 9th grade year at football practice. He pulled the back of my hair sticking through my helmet when I told him to do it again. as he did it again I put his in a headlock and choked him out when the 4 coaches finally got me to let him go. After practice the all said nice job as they knew he bulied me. My 9th grade year had to be one of the best though in Survey of Ag we would always find someway of fucking with our teacher Mr. Smith. From spraying axe and lighting it on fire to making bird sounds when he was in the shop and not the class room. One point someone turned on the Eye wash station and flooded the place when we had a sub in whihc me and 2 other guys were blamed for it. he wouldnt let us come into the shop for about the last month of school so I took all his lesson plan books and lifted the ceiling tiles and put then in the ceiling and thats where they remained until he redid the messed up tiles the year. From 9th grade until now I have had soul crushing anxiety and depression. From roughly April of 9th grade I had been really low and then I got a message from a weird number really late when I was about to kill myself. It said a guardian angel watches over you and loves you. This was shortly after the NSA Scandal and I was paranoid this was the nsa and after about 1 hour after paranoia this person finally revealed themself as my kindergarten and first grade crush (not the chick from arizona) We talked a few days and ended up dating until roughly July when my depression was to much and my cutting got a lot worse and she dumped me and I ended up trying to end it again and turns out she tried over dosing as well. School had started my 10th grade year andI began dating another girl who was a grade below me. She had a haircut like Scrillix like shaved on one side Her parents were trying to make things up and were talking about devorice, but we dated and she was depressed as well and would always disliked when I said I loved her. We broke up around september and got together again a few days later after I had a relapse and cut. We got together again and broke up the week before homecomming. I had began talking to the ex who saved my life and se had my heart and I loved her to death. She was my world. At the homecomming game Scrillix chick had one of her friends ask me to go over there with her and that Scrillix chick wanted to get back together with me. I told her I couldnt do it and finally I told her I was with someone else. For the duration of the game her cronies told me that I should dump the love of my life for her and that she was ugly dispite even seeing her to pursuade me to get back with her. I left the game early almost in tears and wanted to cut again with the pencil sharpener blade I found at the pep-rally. I vent a little to my love. We were happy the next couple of weeks when she dyumped me again on I believe Nov. 7th. It was a wednesday night after church when she did it saying her dad was against it as she lived too far away when I could walk from my grandparents to her house if I wanted. The next morning I check my facebook sad as hell as she had gotten together with her best friend. I was heartbroken and texted her saying wtf. She said she stil loved me and that was my worst mistake beieving it as she continued to text me until I would argue with myself until my mind was torn betwen two people. I finally pushed her out of my life in mid-dec after I went to her Birthday party which I promised to go to which I sat by myself in the cold just right ofut of the bonfire's reach. When I got home I found an uno card in my shirt when I went to take a shower and I placed it in my wallet where it currently is today, when she came back in febuary and I texted her. She was going through a lot at home with abusive parents and she had somehow convinced me to steal my uncles keys and at 3am and I almost went outside and in the truck whenI talked to my awake uncle about it and she calmed me down. I was crazy and frantic and was texting my 2 friends I had made in 10th grade. The second semester of 10th grade was rough though. I need to go back to Halloween when I had shadowed my moms new school so I would know if I wanted to transfer or not. I met a girl who was a senior. She had an amazing smile, a soft tone voice, as well as short hair. She was stunning and gorgous. I spent the night at her house in Dec. and we spent the night playing COD: Ghost and we had a tickle fight that sorta went to cuddling. Anyways over Chirstmas brea we hung out went to the movies and held hands and went to walmart with her grabbing my arm with me her escort. On the first day of school she texted she didnt feel well and I said well 8th period I'll hgug you. She replyed saying no, people would think we were together. My depression got worse as the mixed signals were another punch in the face with the love of my life leaving me. e continued to talk as friends and I told her about my derpression and she helped a lot. I eventually was sucked into something which had me considering overdosing. It was 4am and I finally told her well, I'll prob end it once you go to college I don't want you seeing me in a wood box. I get very hard headed when I am low. I told her that I was heading to bed and she said okay please dont do anything stupid I replied with I will do my best I guess. anyways I woke up with my mom on the end of my bed asking why I wanted to kill myself and I didnt tell her anything. she then told me that my brother didnt have any special treatment dispite me being the one who got all the punishments, but my derpession was origanlly caused by something I wont say her or mention to anyone. She then said I'm sorry you had such a sorry life and left my room before coming back in to tell me not to be mad at the short haired senior and to tell her I was sorry. My new crush ended up telling me that she had told and showed him the text the art teacher who told her to bring it to the counsiler who told my mom about it. I told her I wasnt mad. The next day at school nobody even talked to me about it. The counciler, (the person who should do their job and talk to people with problms like these didnt even bother talking to me) everything wass fine and dandy appernetly. A few weeks later my mom told me in the hallway not to hurt myself then quickly shanged it to don't kill yourself and then laughed. My Crush and I hung out revealing that she liked me but wanted to wait until I graduated to date, but we liked each other and I continued to text her until the present and we are somewhat good friends now, but now barely talk or text. At the end of the school year mom took me to get my Drivers liscence on june 15th my bday and I filled out job applications. I then went to Warped Tour and had the Time of my life. 11th Grade happened and I am still the emo kid at my new school as every thought I was Gay when I first moved there as I dressed in mainly black and wore skinny jeans. I have several girls hounding over me and I have a stalker who is a grade above me who follows me aroudn campus and wants hugs when I pass her in the hallway. mom has taken care of it mostly by giving her dad a call. 11th grade is going well exept I barely talk to anyone anymore outside of school and mainly stay to myself. Lost my virginity which is another story lol in October. Best Car sex I've had jajajaja. but it was to some chick before I got my job at the grocery store. We still talk and are more like friends with beneifits, but once again depression stiked and I got a speeding ticket with a friend I was going to dinner with and I said, hey my luck is I'm going to get into a wreck tommarow. Sure e-fucking-nuff I get into a fender bender while AVOIDING another wreck. I said fuck it and took 24 tylernols which was a dumbass idea, but other shit made me sink lower than the wreck ever thought it could make me. that was a sunday night whenI took the pills, I texted my short hair friend that I was sorry and she told me you better force yourself to puke or I'm calling 911 I purged then out and woke up sick the following morning which was my 1st day at my job. A lot more shit hit the fan since then but it deals with a girl who is a whore who made me trust her and then trust her again the like last thursday who fucked me over, but I expected it and don't give a fuck lol. I haven't cut in a few weeks but thats a hell of a lot better than the old me. no suicidal thoughts which are also good. I also find it nice That I help other people with their problems, but I can;t solve my own. I'm sgtill here and holding on to life for what it can give me so I guess I've got a life ahead of me. Also, there is a guy on my Steam friends list who has to be one of the most important people. He has been my friend since I made my first steam account back in 2014 or 2012ish. I can;t remember. but he helped e get through my hard times and I owe him a lot. his names Talo on my Friends list don't add him though lol he doesn't take to kindly to random people. If anyone has hit rough spots in their life that they wnna talk about just message me, I'd be glad to help you and you can vent as much as you want to me.
Posted Apr 19, 16
![[Image: c93f10437b.png]](https://puu.sh/AOw8Z/c93f10437b.png)
