[Lard Lord]

So I work as a surgeon on a pirate ship, some context, I don't know how to sail, I wasn't paying attention in boating school, and in my culture the surgeon is second in command on a galleon right next to the captain, my typical duties include performing surgeries on my crew mates after we get attacked by those ruffian Somali pirates. (I didn't pay attention in med school either). Now to get to the point, it is currently 3:41 PM for me and my shift starts at 6:00 PM and the captain is out sick... I am now expected to lead a raid against some rapscallion pirates, yet I don't know how to sail, and I have the death sentence in four systems due to botched surgeries. What do I do? (shift is in two hours seventeen minutes).

as a pro GAMER i suggest going balls out and fuckin it up, you know the life, you know the game, put your mind to it and you can accomplish anything you dream! you go be that captain and be the best gosh darn captain those rapscallion pirates have ever seen! Make them fear life fear you and fear ever setting sail on the seven seas again. go get em cap, godspeed

That is really inspiring so I am actually going to get a really long rope and tie it to the wheel of a second galleon and fly galleons at once.