[Salty]

 You are in a good place and that's great love that for you but if things get bad would you back to the no fucks given attitude where you fuck around and do things you did in the past? I don't think you will but I just wanna hear it from you that things will be different because I know sometimes you can go 0-100 real quick so that's why I ask. 

This is a valid concern, thank you for bringing it up Jack. I have a two-part answer for this question.


A) The past where things didn't go my way was due to inexperience in working with a team of individuals who ACTUALLY did things. Most of my experience in a leadership team has been people having titles and not actually doing work and I ended up having to do everything, which is why I didn't know how to handle pushback from others during my first tenure as staff. 


I've grown past this naivete due to more experience working in teams like my college marching band and being in a leadership position at Kroger and having experience with others who want to genuinely improve the situation they're in.  This has helped me work WITH others rather than try being the sole person in charge. As I stated on the app, what's more important to me is the betterment of the community, not what I FEEL like that is, if that makes any sense at all. 

B) The "no fucks given attitude" was due to a problem I had until the summer of July 2021: I would shift between two mindsets that would swap out depending on what I was doing. In school, I always have stayed a serious, all in, type A person who does everything I can to improve the quality of my person, whether that's through conduct or knowledge or etc. When I would play video games, however, I would use them as a way to inappropriately take my stress out at other people for my own amusement, as everyone who dealt with me in the past knows.

This secondary mindset/approach I was applying to video games was developed due to an extremely toxic friend group that I had played with for 6 years, where the entire "humor" of the group was belittling/dehumanizing people as much as possible. It was never actual humor, it was more of who got the last word in an argument or who said the most offensive insult. I don't intend to provide any examples, but I'm sure you can imagine what that environment was like. 

After I spent a week vacation with that group in Florida, I decided enough was enough and I cut them off completely. Immediately after doing that, my "no fucks given" mindset disintegrated as there was no longer a need for it, simply because I wasn't dealing with toxicity every single time I was in a discord VC. 

It was such a substantial change in overall attitude, my parents made comments to me about it; it was as if I was a completely different person to them. 

I'm much calmer, rational, and disciplined than I was back in 2020-2021; credit that to no longer having extraneous stress caused by dealing with a toxic friend group. 


I hope this addresses your concern, Jack.