[slater]

-snip-

Holy shit, you're actually a broken scp, gaw damn

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make one for me NOW.

Item #: SCP-2385 ("Laced Xanax")


Object Class: Keter


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2385 is to be contained within a reinforced steel chamber at Site-██. The chamber must be equipped with an airlock and a decontamination chamber. All personnel entering SCP-2385's chamber must do so while wearing a full Hazmat suit and must undergo decontamination procedures before and after entry.


SCP-2385 must be kept in a temperature-controlled environment, with a temperature of 4 degrees Celsius or lower. All air circulation systems in SCP-2385's containment chamber must be filtered to prevent any airborne particles from escaping.


SCP-2385 is to be handled only by Class D personnel, who are to be monitored at all times during interaction with the object. In the event of a containment breach, all personnel must evacuate the immediate area and the chamber must be sealed until a Mobile Task Force can contain the situation.


Description: SCP-2385 is a small, blue pill labeled as "Xanax." Analysis has revealed that SCP-2385 is laced with an unknown substance, designated SCP-2385-A, which triggers its anomalous properties.


When consumed by a human, SCP-2385-A causes a complete breakdown of the subject's nervous system, leading to severe seizures and eventual death. SCP-2385-A is highly infectious and can be transmitted through physical contact with the infected subject or through inhalation of airborne particles.


SCP-2385-A is highly resistant to any known antiviral or antibacterial treatments and can survive in both air and water for extended periods. The exact origin of SCP-2385 and SCP-2385-A is currently unknown, and all attempts to trace their source have been unsuccessful.


Addendum: Due to the highly infectious nature of SCP-2385-A, all personnel assigned to SCP-2385 must undergo regular medical examinations and are to be placed under quarantine for a period of 48 hours before returning to duty in other areas of the facility. Any personnel exhibiting symptoms of SCP-2385-A infection are to be immediately isolated and treated with experimental antiviral agents.

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i would like a possum one please.

Item #: SCP-8576 ("Unfortunate Possum")

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8576 is to be contained within a standard containment chamber at Site-██. The chamber must be equipped with a UV lighting system and a temperature control system set to a temperature of 10 degrees Celsius. All personnel entering SCP-8576's chamber must do so while wearing gloves and a full Hazmat suit.

SCP-8576 must be provided with a regular supply of small rodents for sustenance, with any remaining rodents removed from the chamber after feeding to prevent overpopulation.

SCP-8576 must be observed at all times by remote cameras, with any abnormalities in behavior or physical changes immediately reported to Site personnel for further analysis.

Description: SCP-8576 is a small possum with pale, almost translucent skin and a highly sensitive, retractable proboscis. SCP-8576 is highly adaptable and can survive in a wide range of environments, including extreme temperatures, high altitudes, and underwater.

SCP-8576's proboscis is used to feed on the bodily fluids of living organisms, primarily small rodents. SCP-8576's feeding process is highly efficient and leaves no visible injuries on the host organism.

SCP-8576's saliva contains a highly potent venom that causes paralysis in its prey within seconds. The venom also contains an unknown mutagenic compound that causes rapid mutations in the host organism, resulting in highly abnormal physical and behavioral changes.

SCP-8576's mutations have been observed to include the growth of additional limbs, organs, and sensory appendages, as well as changes in coloration, behavior, and even vocalizations.

SCP-8576 is capable of reproducing asexually, with its offspring inheriting its highly adaptive characteristics and the ability to mutate rapidly.

Addendum: Due to SCP-8576's potential to cause severe physical harm and unpredictable mutations in host organisms, all personnel are advised to avoid direct physical contact with SCP-8576 and to handle it only with gloves and Hazmat suits. Any personnel exhibiting symptoms of SCP-8576's venom must be immediately quarantined and treated with antivenom agents.

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here

Item #: SCP-2395 ("Deadpool")

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2395 is to be contained in a specially designed, hermetically sealed chamber at Site-██, with all entry and exit points locked and monitored at all times. The chamber must be lined with a layer of lead to prevent any transmissions of SCP-2395's anomalous properties.

All personnel assigned to SCP-2395's containment must undergo a thorough psychological evaluation before and after each shift. Personnel must be rotated regularly to prevent any long-term exposure to SCP-2395's effects.

Description: SCP-2395 is a humanoid entity that appears to be similar in appearance to the Marvel Comics character "Deadpool". SCP-2395 displays a number of anomalous properties, including enhanced physical attributes such as strength, agility, and endurance, as well as an apparent inability to be killed by conventional means.

SCP-2395 is highly unpredictable and frequently engages in violent behavior, both towards itself and towards others. SCP-2395 has been observed to engage in acts of self-harm, including dismemberment and disembowelment, without experiencing any pain or permanent damage. SCP-2395 has also been observed to recover from injuries that would be fatal to a normal human being, including decapitation and incineration.

SCP-2395 is also capable of rapid cellular regeneration, which allows it to heal quickly from injuries and illnesses. This regeneration also prevents SCP-2395 from aging, and it appears to be functionally immortal.

SCP-2395 has displayed a number of mental abnormalities, including a lack of empathy towards others and a tendency to engage in violent and sadistic behavior. SCP-2395 has also been observed to break the fourth wall, addressing its actions and surroundings as if they were part of a fictional narrative.

SCP-2395's anomalous properties make it extremely difficult to contain and pose a significant threat to all personnel and facilities it comes into contact with.

Addendum: Due to the unpredictable nature of SCP-2395's behavior, all personnel are advised to avoid any direct contact with it and to only interact with it through remote means. Any personnel exhibiting symptoms of SCP-2395's anomalous properties, including accelerated healing or sudden bursts of violent behavior, must be immediately quarantined and monitored for further evaluation.