[Daggergrace]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]OeSo…I don't really know how to describe what I am feeling rightness now, this feels kind of…empty almost…burn  guess we'll just dumb it down, I feel sad.[/font][/font]


[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]I feel like I try really hard as a Tmod to be…to be delightful. I try to laugh when I call people assholes or rude names, so they know I'm only kidding, but they don't ever get the hint. I try to add little :3 faces at the end of some insulting chat PM to hint I'm not serious about it, but I still get called salty. [/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]It is very hard for me to replicate happiness when I have felt so little of it in my lifetime. So many false things have been said about me, and it ruins my reputation on what I worked so hard to build. I have been called out that I have been making my own rules. But don't some rules differ for some MODS? Like I have been slain for defending myself while I was falling from propsurfing, even though it is widely known that falling and propfurfing are two different times to shoot. But nobody ever talked to him as far as I know.[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]I don't even make up my own rules.[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]1: "Dagger said that if people prop block the door in the breadroom he would slay them" [/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]What I said: "if the people possessing props block the door of the bread room, I will slay your interfering, this is your only warning okay?"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]2: "Dagger you handle your reports sometimes.[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]What I said: "yes I handle my own reports when I am the only staff on or I canceled my report".[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]3: "Dagger said it was a new rule to kill sus in OT"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]What I said AND did: "look on this server--*"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]-micspam from 6 people-[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]"You can KO--*"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]-Micspam as soon as I start talking again, starts to type it to him, only to get argued with and denial of everything I said-[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]"Okay screw this"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]-starts to find people to gag so I can clarify, R key broken, can't list some people-[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]"Fuck it, I'll explain to him later"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]-types that it was a new rule-[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]4: "dagger your such a hypocrite you bitch about shotguns and then use one!!"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]What I said and did: -plays 5 maps without using a shotgun, and on the 3rd round of the 5th map I get killed by someone who ONLY uses the shotgun and has it set to primary weapon slot in inventory, as well as never using any other gun-[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]"Tch, scrub"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]-round 5, dies and gets defibbed and spawns with a shotgun, uses it for the remained of the round-[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]5: "dagger you are so salty whenever you get killed"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]What I said in report: "how the hell did you know it was me?"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Response: "I saw you with a grapple in your hand"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]{hmm, doubt he could've seen me, can't watch deathscene till I forgive or keep, I'll keep it and then watch it and cast judgement on what I think}[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]-deathscene shows barely any time to have scene me-[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]"I don't think you could've seen me"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]"Well I diiiiiiid soooooo"[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Like, I feel the community takes what I do, and kinda doesn't look at all the facts…it hurts me, because I am trying really hard to adjust myself to fit the needs in this server, and it hurts me that no matter what I try and do, all I get is a meme response or a lack of seriousness, usually both...[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]I just want people to accept me for who I am, because I don't think I can change, ffs I am faking happiness for everyone…I don't want to be myself, because myself sucks ass, it would just be me hardly ever talking and a lack of care for anything, but I want to help this server because it has helped me relieve stress at times, and y'all can be nice sometimes, but lately it feels like I've been the target of hate for everyone…and it hurts me bad…[/font][/font]