[poop MANIAC(fecal frenzy!!!!!!!!]

name: poop MANIAC(fecal frenzy!!!!!!!!
ID: STEAM_0:1:43140995[/color]
who banned you: Banned by an Admin via Web Application
why: singing the confederate anthem with a racial slur
length of ban: 1 week
reason to unban:
Last sunday I made the unfortunate decision to get pretty deep in my cups on a work night. I was slurring (ha!) my speech all night, lots of hmngs and guhhs and mnmnmns, and because I am a drunk bastard I got a little obnoxious and sang a little. I can't recall the exact context, but I know there was one and that I wasn't just breaking out into song all willy nilly. The point being that at some point very early in the song, I mumbled and grumbled and gibbergabbered my way through lyrics that weren't coming to mind, and the tail end of that incoherent drunken babble had a superficial likeness to the word "niggas." For clarity, the official position as it has been explained to me is that the word "nigga" is not considered a slur by our staff team unless it is being used as one.

Here is a recording of the event.

If you slow down to 0.5 speed at 0:04, you can deconstruct the actual phonetics to be closer to "nake us," though again I insist it was sincerely nonsensical gibberish. This is the crux of my argument, and if you don't already believe it then I know I can't do anything to convince you. Just ignore the rest of this post.

Furthermore, the song "Dixie's Land," was never in fact the confederate anthem; it was retroactively adopted by the southern poor before secession as a sort of early pop song, but never played in any recorded official capacity by confederate army bands. Instead it was written by a midwestern yankee as a satire of southern life, then adopted by the barely-literate and dirt poor patrons of minstrel shows as a sort of party song in the confused feverdream days right leading up to the war. In fact, at Lee's surrender, it was ordered by Lincoln to be played as an act of cosmic irony to tease the general. Dixie's Land was no more the anthem of the CSA than Margaritaville is the anthem of Florida. It comes to mind as a drinking song because I grew up around banjos and fiddles, much like any barfly who came up scavenging cigarette butts from overpriced beachside grills.

I know the benefit of the doubt isn't something I'm really afforded, and that my accepted appeal over the libel that caused my last ban (I only mention this because I know it will be brought up in the comments, admin team; this is NOT harassment) happened because of a total lack of any evidence, not because anyone on the board affords me any degree of trust. But thankfully this time there is evidence, and though it may be pliant enough for the listening ear to hear what it wants to hear, I know I wasn't being racist.

previous bans: many
other: I don't expect many to care enough to read this giant deranged essay, and I expect even fewer to believe me. I know the staff team won't see things my way, and that this appeal certainly won't earn me an unban. Nothing more will be accomplished by it than to satisfy my own need to have said my piece and set the record straight. Honestly this whole ordeal really just hurts my feelings. In any case whatever you choose to do with the ban, you won't be seeing me around here any time soon. I know I'm not welcome; between the redlettermedia serial killer bit, the previously mentioned debacle that I'm not allowed to talk about, and now omens being read in my intoxicated mumbling like some hysteric greek oracle, I get the distinct impression that my presence is once again rubbing a lot of people the wrong way. Call it an act of cosmic irony.