[saltychapdaddy]

I'm gonna go deep here, as requested:

Personally, I'd like to believe that I have a slight paranoia that has been around ever since I was a young child  (it's gotten a lot better since high school, which was when it was at its worst). I've always felt like that I usually am just "dealt with" and talked to "so I can go away" if that makes sense. In other words, I've had constant fear of being surrounded by fake people, so I guess you could call it trust issues? I think the main thing that caused this to happen was an incident that happened when I was 10 that I'm not going into detail about (not something I want to share on the forums) but essentially what happened is I ran to my brother and told him about this incident and he laughed it off and thought I was joking. My guess is that's what made me subconsciously develop some serious trust issues that plagued me in middle and high school. It took college to give me a chance to "reinvent myself" as one of my teachers said college is meant for to get rid most of this fear; however I still sometimes feel like I'm used. It pisses me off but I can't really do anything about it except NOT try and think like that.