[bob]

I'm gonna go deep here, as requested:

Personally, I'd like to believe that I have a slight paranoia that has been around ever since I was a young child  (it's gotten a lot better since high school, which was when it was at its worst). I've always felt like that I usually am just "dealt with" and talked to "so I can go away" if that makes sense. In other words, I've had constant fear of being surrounded by fake people, so I guess you could call it trust issues? I think the main thing that caused this to happen was an incident that happened when I was 10 that I'm not going into detail about (not something I want to share on the forums) but essentially what happened is I ran to my brother and told him about this incident and he laughed it off and thought I was joking. My guess is that's what made me subconsciously develop some serious trust issues that plagued me in middle and high school. It took college to give me a chance to "reinvent myself" as one of my teachers said college is meant for to get rid most of this fear; however I still sometimes feel like I'm used. It pisses me off but I can't really do anything about it except NOT try and think like that.

Hey I was pretty much the same, took me a couple years to figure out that anxiety was a thing and then my paranoia got classified as social anxiety. Which of course comes with the doubts and trust issues cause all it takes is one bad experience with someone to impact the way you deal with things in the future. 
We can't help the way our minds work sometimes, and we don't have control of how others make us feel, but its good that you try to be as optimistic and not think that way. It definitely isn't as easy as it sounds.

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I have a phobia of silence

and i guess also the emergency alert system sound, the monotone buzz thing, freaks me the hell out

What about silence scares you?