[bob]

Okay, I'm not sure how deep ya want this to go but I'll give it a shot. Maybe it leans more towards paranoia,  but my main irrational fear would have to be the fear of my friends turning on me. For the most part I tend to stay away from getting close with people. I'm sure some of ya'll probably think I either dislike you or that I come across cold, but thats mainly because I'm just socially awkward with a lot of trust issues.

long story short-ish: Had an individual get close to me only to use what they learned about me to turn everyone against me.They shared pictures of me in order to create a rumor that I was "lewdy" as well as shared our DMs in order to turn our mutual friends against me, it worked for the most part. The pictures themselves weren't lewdy, It was just a leg pic and a picture of myself in a swimsuit. Most of my friends at the time had already seen em, but she also sent them to people I didn't know. Theres a lot more to this story, I wasn't the only one she wanted gone. What happened to me also happened to two others whom I am now very close friends with so some good did come from all that chaos. 

I ended up losing a lot of friends because of how that situation went down, and to this day I am still being harassed by individuals from that community. I just recently had to block one of them because even after a year I am still getting messages ranging from them telling me to jump off a bridge or its an attempt to befriend me again. Ever since, I find it hard to get close with people without thoughts such as "What if they do this" or "What if this happens again" lurking at the back of mind. Its part of the reason why I really only hang within my own discord, its where I am most comfortable. Although its probably all in my head, I just feel more at ease when I'm surrounded by people I've gotten close to over a period of time.

That is so messed up, f*ck that person. And I hope one day you don't have to deal with a single person from that community again. And it isn't just in your head, your reason for feeling that way and wanting to keep your circle small is totally valid.