[bob]

just scared of getting fucked over emotionally again, y'know?

Gosh that will always be a fear. And I hope one day you find the strength to let your guard down for the right person.

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Just to start this off, this is going to be a bit of a ride of me just venting for the most part.
When I was still in high school, like around 2018 to 2019, my anxiety was horrible and so was my depression. However, during the summer time in 2018 (I think) I was constantly (if you want to skip this part go right ahead haha) having a period for about 3 to 4 months straight. I went to the doctors and all they really did was start me on birth control and tell me I was anemic (no shit). However, what they didn't tell me, when they did an ultrasound on my uterus, that I had a cyst on one of my ovaries. I didn't have a clue until I went to a new doctor, the first doctor was a pediatrician because I was still a minor (blah blah blah), that she told me what was really going on. She even did some tests for me and I found out that I have a underactive thyroid which would explain my whole existence to a T. With underactive thyroid there will be the anxiety and depression; then there was the symptom of weight gain, tiredness, etc etc etc. She also was able to see that I was even pre-diabetic and have high blood pressure.
Honestly I'm very glad I was able to meet my new doctor because if I hadn't I honestly don't know who I would be. I say that because it was horrible. Thankfully, I'm on medicine now that drastically helps me.

But, change of topic here, even with the medicine I'm always going to have problems. Honestly sometimes I believe I need to go to a therapist and see what else might be lurking beneath the surface.
In general, I have fears of dying or my loved ones dying. I have a horrible fear of heights, it's gotten a little bit better over the years, and a general fear of bugs especially cockroaches. They mainly just give me the heebie-jeebies.

So, yeah. That's me haha. c:

I'm sorry you had to deal with all that and so HAPPY you got to the right doctor. And a therapist can definitely help, it might be more relieving than you expect. I hope things are looking up for you now!! And stay strong. <3