[Hawkachu]

OmG thanks! I'm so glad to be here!

[Hello Kitty]

ayo ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ) ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ) ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)

[Lard Lord]

( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ) ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ) ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ) 

I am Hawkachu . . .

Hawkachu get up and get coffee
Hawkachu go to job
Hawkachu has boring meeting with boring manager Rob

Rob say Hawkachu very diligent
But his output stink
His code not functional or elegant
What do Hawkachu think?

Hawkachu think "Maybe manger wanna write goddamn login page himself!"
Hawkachu not say it out loud
Hawkachu not crazy, just proud.

Hawkachu like Frittos
Hawkachu like Tab and Mountain Dew
Hawkachu very simple man
With big, warm, fuzzy, secret heart

Hawkachu went to big boring school called GT with bumblebee mascot
Hawkachu got BS in ME
Hawkachu would have rather wake up, eat a coffee cake
Take a bath, take nap,
This school "land Hawkachu a great job" 
- Such a load of crap 

But Hawkachu likes DinksTTT and its apes  ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)

Hawkachu does open Kevin Hart surgery for Lard?