[chelllman]

Rand said in his resignation that he'd really like this community to communicate better, but that's something that's really hard to do without a concerted effort.

I'm one of the weird people that absolutely loves public speaking, debate, discussion, and good old fashion argument. Even more, I love the theory behind human conversation which is really funny because a lot of the people in my field of study absolutely hate communication.

I'd like to share some of my favorite books/resources I've read in my spare time.

"But chelllman, I don't have time to do that". I used to think so too until I watched a wonderful lecture on procrastination by psychology Professor Tim Pychyl - link
I listen to audio books and lectures when I'm driving, adds up to about 30 minutes a day or so and that's all that's needed. Doing some reading while on the toilet also works, I shit you not (pun intended).

If you can't afford or don't want to pay for audio books, or you want to actually read something, then for legal reasons I am absolutely NOT telling you to take the book titles, add "free PDF online" to the end of it and google it.

1. "Never split the difference" - Chris Voss: absolutely amazing book on negotiation, stuff in the book helped me a lot with negotiating contracts, salaries, etc.
2. "How to talk to anyone" - Leil Lowndes: great book for strategies with in-person communication
3. "How to win friends and influence people" - Dale Carnegie: a timeless classic that really helps you phrase what you are trying to say correctly.
4. "Thank you for arguing" - Jay Heinrichs: great book about persuasive argument
5. "Crucial conversations" - Joseph Grenny et al.: really good book for dealing with high pressure or emotional argument situations

Effective communication is something that needs to be practiced and studied. You want to negotiate a raise? You need practice. You want to convey your ideas when emotions are running high? You need tools to effectively communicate. I can also provide other books/resources I've found helpful beyond these if anyone wants.

Also, feel free to reach out if you ever wanna discuss communication strategies. I find this stuff absolutely fascinating.

[bryanbrr]

Good communication can only happen when we listen to understand and not simply listen to respond. Easy to say, hard to do.

As long as we all try to be better, things will be okay.

[dong]

I miss you

[slater]

I believe that helps so much in the long run. I took a communications class in college that helped me communicate more effectively than I ever could’ve done by myself. Especially with my past history of communicating by not being straightforward or being very awkward, these are amazing.

Edit: Communication is the #1 most important resource to establish and learn. Without proper communication, we all get mixed signals, clashing arguments that don’t lead to anything beneficiary, or worst of all, no communication to understand and have resourceful arguments that lead to something.

[PandaInPants]

Communication would work if people on both sides are open to listening, but this community continuously dismisses actual discussions or pushes to tear apart someone's point immediately instead of furthering a discussion.
In staff chat when we would have discussions multiple members of the staff team would spam memes to try and stop the conversation or stubbornly just say "no, i will not do this" to say that no matter how the discussion or decision goes they have already chosen they don't care. Many people have also mentioned that we would like a bit more clarity on when issues are being worked on or investigated, but get told its on a need to know basis so we sit on things for extended periods with no info so the issue gets forgotten about anyway (even small issues). I also ran into the issue where I would get 0 responses to things that would happen or the only response was from Tief and no flame but she didn't know what rules to push either because staff training has not been worked on in eons. @Icey wasn't that a big part of ur admin app? just gonna say, what parts of ur admin app have u actually accomplished?

Away from issues when I was staff I keep hearing about people bringing up harassment in their discords, in private, or ignoring it as much as they can because anytime they have reported it or tried to report it it gets dismissed and ignored by the staff they reach out to. Multiple people have told me about times they have reported harassment and been ignored even when reporting with video evidence to well beloved admins like @bryanbrr . When I sometimes mention a problem player in passing conversation ill get the response "oh yeah they message in dms all the time but I just ignore it" which is the common sentiment because players don't trust staff at all.

Some members of the community need to leave the server alone. A large number of inactive members come back when changes are made because they love to stir the pot and stir up trouble because they disagree with changes to a server they haven't played on in years. Many like to claim that old rules they had a hand in making years ago are being misrepresented now because the new staff team with no training has had to reshape the server for the current player base. It doesn't really matter how the past was when the current community wants things to happen. Instead, the newer community gets chased away by cringe older players who come back from multi-year hiatus to question everything going on. How many members of the community who joined in the last year just quit the community in the past few weeks? These people were passionate about the server and played very often, but now a majority of them are leaving and I know its specifically due to specific individuals actions.

All in all in my opinion a large amount of this community's problems come from people who won't grow up and let their beloved server from 2016 change when they aren't around so they fight until they make everyone who is passionate about improving the community quit.

[HONG]

Some members of the community need to leave the server alone. A large number of inactive members come back when changes are made because they love to stir the pot and stir up trouble

i agree with you but especially on this

[thaye]

Communication would work if people on both sides are open to listening, but this community continuously dismisses actual discussions or pushes to tear apart someone's point immediately instead of furthering a discussion.
In staff chat when we would have discussions multiple members of the staff team would spam memes to try and stop the conversation or stubbornly just say "no, i will not do this" to say that no matter how the discussion or decision goes they have already chosen they don't care. Many people have also mentioned that we would like a bit more clarity on when issues are being worked on or investigated, but get told its on a need to know basis so we sit on things for extended periods with no info so the issue gets forgotten about anyway (even small issues). I also ran into the issue where I would get 0 responses to things that would happen or the only response was from Tief and no flame but she didn't know what rules to push either because staff training has not been worked on in eons. @Icey wasn't that a big part of ur admin app? just gonna say, what parts of ur admin app have u actually accomplished?

Away from issues when I was staff I keep hearing about people bringing up harassment in their discords, in private, or ignoring it as much as they can because anytime they have reported it or tried to report it it gets dismissed and ignored by the staff they reach out to. Multiple people have told me about times they have reported harassment and been ignored even when reporting with video evidence to well beloved admins like @bryanbrr . When I sometimes mention a problem player in passing conversation ill get the response "oh yeah they message in dms all the time but I just ignore it" which is the common sentiment because players don't trust staff at all.

Some members of the community need to leave the server alone. A large number of inactive members come back when changes are made because they love to stir the pot and stir up trouble because they disagree with changes to a server they haven't played on in years. Many like to claim that old rules they had a hand in making years ago are being misrepresented now because the new staff team with no training has had to reshape the server for the current player base. It doesn't really matter how the past was when the current community wants things to happen. Instead, the newer community gets chased away by cringe older players who come back from multi-year hiatus to question everything going on.  How many members of the community who joined in the last year just quit the community in the past few weeks? These people were passionate about the server and played very often, but now a majority of them are leaving and I know its specifically due to specific individuals actions.

All in all in my opinion a large amount of this community's problems come from people who won't grow up and let their beloved server from 2016 change when they aren't around so they fight until they make everyone who is passionate about improving the community quit.

We disagreed a lot in the past, but i think this is probably one of the most on point things anyone in this community has ever said

[TDawg4]

Communication would work if people on both sides are open to listening, but this community continuously dismisses actual discussions or pushes to tear apart someone's point immediately instead of furthering a discussion.
In staff chat when we would have discussions multiple members of the staff team would spam memes to try and stop the conversation or stubbornly just say "no, i will not do this" to say that no matter how the discussion or decision goes they have already chosen they don't care. Many people have also mentioned that we would like a bit more clarity on when issues are being worked on or investigated, but get told its on a need to know basis so we sit on things for extended periods with no info so the issue gets forgotten about anyway (even small issues). I also ran into the issue where I would get 0 responses to things that would happen or the only response was from Tief and no flame but she didn't know what rules to push either because staff training has not been worked on in eons. @Icey wasn't that a big part of ur admin app? just gonna say, what parts of ur admin app have u actually accomplished?

Away from issues when I was staff I keep hearing about people bringing up harassment in their discords, in private, or ignoring it as much as they can because anytime they have reported it or tried to report it it gets dismissed and ignored by the staff they reach out to. Multiple people have told me about times they have reported harassment and been ignored even when reporting with video evidence to well beloved admins like @bryanbrr . When I sometimes mention a problem player in passing conversation ill get the response "oh yeah they message in dms all the time but I just ignore it" which is the common sentiment because players don't trust staff at all.

Some members of the community need to leave the server alone. A large number of inactive members come back when changes are made because they love to stir the pot and stir up trouble because they disagree with changes to a server they haven't played on in years. Many like to claim that old rules they had a hand in making years ago are being misrepresented now because the new staff team with no training has had to reshape the server for the current player base. It doesn't really matter how the past was when the current community wants things to happen. Instead, the newer community gets chased away by cringe older players who come back from multi-year hiatus to question everything going on.  How many members of the community who joined in the last year just quit the community in the past few weeks? These people were passionate about the server and played very often, but now a majority of them are leaving and I know its specifically due to specific individuals actions.

All in all in my opinion a large amount of this community's problems come from people who won't grow up and let their beloved server from 2016 change when they aren't around so they fight until they make everyone who is passionate about improving the community quit.

Most of this stuff I cant speak to especially the stuff related to admin decision making. I can say that on the actual TTT server I think the active staff do a pretty good job.  Personally, I thought there were a lot of good staff discussions related to various rules both community and gameplay. I realize some people weren't happy for the resolution to those conversations, and I do agree some of the meme posting in the middle by people was annoying. I can say that I do my best to always respond to a message on discord or on server. 

I 100% agree that there are people sticking around causing issues especially on the forums who are either inactive or have said they are leaving the community. It is hard to take in good faith comments from people who never play or are around on disc or people who have declared dinks to be a lost cause. Seems like they are just trying to take as many shots as they can on their way out/causing problems when they don't really care about the community anymore. 

If I ever ignored someone being harassed please dm me as Id like to fix that blind spot.

[cow]

I aint reading all this can someone give a tldr please and thank

[moocow]

you read this

 It is hard to take in good faith comments from people who never play or are around on disc or people who have declared dinks to be a lost cause. Seems like they are just trying to take as many shots as they can on their way out/causing problems when they don't really care about the community anymore. 

most of the people who have left/declared dinks a lost cause have those opinions because they've tried so hard to make the community a better, safer place and were met with backlash every step of the way, so they leave frustrated and feeling that way. 

you can care about a community and also understand when its time to give up, i doubt anybody who has recently made the decision to leave and rescind their positions have done so with complete happiness