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(07-08-2024, 07:29 PM)Foxka Wrote: Being pansexual doesn't excuse using slurs. A slur is a slur. I'm also a part of these spaces (I've identified as pan for 10+ years and am under the trans flag) and do not agree with your stance of it as a term of endearment or "taking the word back from bigots". This is just an excuse for poor behavior. You didn't even say this to a lgbt person either so i'm not sure why you're including this in your reasoning, as that is quite literally just spreading hate. I understand both you and the person you send these DMs to both say the slur to each other but that does not make it OK.
Your spaces might allow it but mine sure don't. Personally I wouldn't want to be a part of that kind of space if that's what's encouraged there. And I certainly don't want to see that in the space of the staff team. You do not speak for all pansexual people, nor do you speak for all queer people. You can disagree with my usage of the word but I am not using it in a space you are in. I am using it in spaces where it was acceptable language
![[Image: EQGLr1I.png]](https://i.imgur.com/EQGLr1I.png)
If you're gonna say that you wouldn't want to be apart of that space or deny someone staff for using that word in spaces where it was acceptable, then be consistent lol.
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(07-08-2024, 07:36 PM)Damien1579 Wrote: (07-08-2024, 07:29 PM)Foxka Wrote: Being pansexual doesn't excuse using slurs. A slur is a slur. I'm also a part of these spaces (I've identified as pan for 10+ years and am under the trans flag) and do not agree with your stance of it as a term of endearment or "taking the word back from bigots". This is just an excuse for poor behavior. You didn't even say this to a lgbt person either so i'm not sure why you're including this in your reasoning, as that is quite literally just spreading hate. I understand both you and the person you send these DMs to both say the slur to each other but that does not make it OK.
Your spaces might allow it but mine sure don't. Personally I wouldn't want to be a part of that kind of space if that's what's encouraged there. And I certainly don't want to see that in the space of the staff team. You do not speak for all pansexual people, nor do you speak for all queer people. You can disagree with my usage of the word but I am not using it in a space you are in. I am using it in spaces where it was acceptable language
![[Image: EQGLr1I.png]](https://i.imgur.com/EQGLr1I.png)
If you're gonna say that you wouldn't want to be apart of that space or deny someone staff for using that word in spaces where it was acceptable, then be consistent lol. No matter the context, it’s still bad to say and yeah I shouldn’t be saying that either obviously. I will own up to it and say that I have had a history previously of saying it and obviously don’t gotta forgive me for it cause it’s stupid asf and horrible. But, saying it because you are part of a group doesn’t really justify saying it no matter what. It’s still bad. Nothing will justify saying it just because you have access to saying it. Obviously for me, same thing. I’m not gonna deny it that it’s in bad use and I will be honest about it.
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07-08-2024, 08:12 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-08-2024, 08:18 PM by Damien1579. Edited 1 time in total.)
(07-08-2024, 08:03 PM)slater Wrote: No matter the context, it’s still bad to say and yeah I shouldn’t be saying that either obviously. I will own up to it and say that I have had a history previously of saying it and obviously don’t gotta forgive me for it cause it’s stupid asf and horrible. But, saying it because you are part of a group doesn’t really justify saying it no matter what. It’s still bad. Nothing will justify saying it just because you have access to saying it. Obviously for me, same thing. I’m not gonna deny it that it’s in bad use and I will be honest about it. I am not using me being queer as an excuse for using the word, I am saying that in PRIVATE SPACES where the word is allowed why should I be punished or denied for using it? lol. Nate isn't African/African American but he literally owned and purposefully used a Karuta card with the N Slur in it where Foxka and Slater can see it, why didn't they bring it to the admins or post it somewhere where it could be dealt with? Because it was a PRIVATE SPACE where that kind of behavior was allowed and tolerated. Why are we using evidence from these spaces while actively pushing for punishment for behavior from these spaces? It's hypocrisy - "the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not confirm".
A lot of people on this thread only want to have a moral grandstand against my behavior in spaces where my behavior is tolerated and allowed, but when their friends do it in the same kinds of spaces they could give a flying fuck lol.
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07-08-2024, 08:12 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-08-2024, 08:17 PM by Norm Minder. Edited 2 times in total.)
(07-08-2024, 06:48 PM)Foxka Wrote: -1 not comfortable with someone who, to this day, unironically slurs while preaching lgbt inclusiveness.
![[Image: IMG_9569.png?ex=668dcc1b&is=668c7a9b&hm=...4e6c839e3&]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1259344815653650432/1260019502863613982/IMG_9569.png?ex=668dcc1b&is=668c7a9b&hm=d5b32ab4d5f7bf3b8c2effc862864e7049b753be92e5e9399a7bf014e6c839e3&) Bringing up slurs from private messages on staff app is just insane to me. I’m not here to defend what Damien or slater said but as long as they don’t say these things in the community I honestly don’t give af .
Some stuff he said in PRIVATE chats shouldn’t be against him.
You can disagree or not but that’s just IMO.
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07-08-2024, 08:22 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-08-2024, 08:24 PM by voidzz. Edited 1 time in total.)
(07-08-2024, 08:12 PM)Norm Minder Wrote: (07-08-2024, 06:48 PM)Foxka Wrote: -1 not comfortable with someone who, to this day, unironically slurs while preaching lgbt inclusiveness.
![[Image: IMG_9569.png?ex=668dcc1b&is=668c7a9b&hm=...4e6c839e3&]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1259344815653650432/1260019502863613982/IMG_9569.png?ex=668dcc1b&is=668c7a9b&hm=d5b32ab4d5f7bf3b8c2effc862864e7049b753be92e5e9399a7bf014e6c839e3&) Bringing up slurs from private messages on staff app is just insane to me. I’m not here to defend what Damien or slater said but as long as they don’t say these things in the community I honestly don’t give af .
You can disagree or not but that’s just IMO. i think a lot of this comes from the server not being sure whether the outside discord behavior is considered something that can be considered or not anymore. previously, there was a precedent that things which were from outside dinks would not be considered (except in rare situations like harassment), but there has been a recent push to hold people accountable for their actions everywhere.
a possible fix to this would be getting admin clarification on what is acceptable to use or not from these outside servers?
damn i said considered 3 times
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07-08-2024, 08:30 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-08-2024, 08:39 PM by KaptainLes. Edited 2 times in total.)
I haven't provided my input to this app yet, and I plan on doing so probably tomorrow. But I have said this before, and I will say it again now: if you are going to lynch someone for using the F-Slur in private spaces, Lynch me. I use it in messages and real life to describe myself and my friends. There is no context to this image, if it was used in a hateful way to someone then sure, it may be used as evidence, but with this limiting image with no context of an apparently private DM, I am gonna ask for that to be dropped, or if you think it is still an issue, well, you know where to find me.
Edit to answer voids question: The major causes for outside info being used inside dinks are Harassment, Sexual Harassment, and Using Someone's Likeness (I.e. A photo from selfies or "the faces of dinks") without their permission or illegal activity. Obviously, this list is not limited to just these, but they are the main examples.
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(07-08-2024, 07:29 PM)Foxka Wrote: (07-08-2024, 06:55 PM)Damien1579 Wrote: (07-08-2024, 06:48 PM)Foxka Wrote: -1 not comfortable with someone who, to this day, unironically slurs while preaching lgbt inclusiveness.
![[Image: IMG_9569.png?ex=668dcc1b&is=668c7a9b&hm=...4e6c839e3&]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1259344815653650432/1260019502863613982/IMG_9569.png?ex=668dcc1b&is=668c7a9b&hm=d5b32ab4d5f7bf3b8c2effc862864e7049b753be92e5e9399a7bf014e6c839e3&) I am a pansexual person who uses that word with queer people and some cis-het people in private spaces where this word is allowed. The person I used this word with in this screenshot also reciprocated and used the word with me despite being cis-het lol. The fact that this even got leaked and used as evidence to -1 me is insane to me but anyways yes, queer people will commonly use the main word bigots call them in private queer spaces as either an term of endearment or just for the sake of taking the word back from bigots. Being pansexual doesn't excuse using slurs. A slur is a slur. I'm also a part of these spaces (I've identified as pan for 10+ years and am under the trans flag) and do not agree with your stance of it as a term of endearment or "taking the word back from bigots". This is just an excuse for poor behavior. You didn't even say this to a lgbt person either so i'm not sure why you're including this in your reasoning, as that is quite literally just spreading hate. I understand both you and the person you send these DMs to both say the slur to each other but that does not make it OK.
Your spaces might allow it but mine sure don't. Personally I wouldn't want to be a part of that kind of space if that's what's encouraged there. And I certainly don't want to see that in the space of the staff team. Bro bringing up personnel stuff when said in a comfortable environment is a low blow. I'm certain you've said worse yourself, lord knows I have. This is clearly not the move to see if someone is staff ready or not. Let him make his bed and if he wants staff, he has the track record to show he handles it well but not for too long.
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07-08-2024, 08:40 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-08-2024, 08:42 PM by angel. Edited 1 time in total.)
this just in; queer person uses reclaimed queer slurs that they're ALLOWED to use in private spaces. which historically has been happening for decades. :O
every queer space I've ever been a part of says them, it's incredibly common, and reclaiming those words has been widely accepted by and for those actually in the community.
as for the application;
if you're sure that you're ready to go on another tenure this soon (though, please watch out for your mental health and take breaks when you need, should you be accepted), I'd say there isn't anything wrong with that. you've been a good staff member and goin' for trusted would give you the absolute bare bones of permissions which is a good place to test if you could properly handle it again.
good luck, damien. :)
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(07-08-2024, 08:22 PM)voidzz Wrote: (07-08-2024, 08:12 PM)Norm Minder Wrote: (07-08-2024, 06:48 PM)Foxka Wrote: -1 not comfortable with someone who, to this day, unironically slurs while preaching lgbt inclusiveness.
![[Image: IMG_9569.png?ex=668dcc1b&is=668c7a9b&hm=...4e6c839e3&]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1259344815653650432/1260019502863613982/IMG_9569.png?ex=668dcc1b&is=668c7a9b&hm=d5b32ab4d5f7bf3b8c2effc862864e7049b753be92e5e9399a7bf014e6c839e3&) Bringing up slurs from private messages on staff app is just insane to me. I’m not here to defend what Damien or slater said but as long as they don’t say these things in the community I honestly don’t give af .
You can disagree or not but that’s just IMO. i think a lot of this comes from the server not being sure whether the outside discord behavior is considered something that can be considered or not anymore. previously, there was a precedent that things which were from outside dinks would not be considered (except in rare situations like harassment), but there has been a recent push to hold people accountable for their actions everywhere.
a possible fix to this would be getting admin clarification on what is acceptable to use or not from these outside servers?
damn i said considered 3 times Not to deviate too much from the application, I think usage of outside/adjacent Discord content or DMs should only be used within the Dinks community for punishment or staff applications in cases of things that are of the utmost severity- harassment (e.g. by following someone to that adjacent space with malintent) or things that are all server/community bannable. Slurs in a private chat, a racist custom Mudae card in the depths of a private server, etc? Distasteful and in some cases hypocritical? Sure, but do they really affect anything that happens within Dinks if the person acts like a model citizen within Dink-administered spaces and don't carry that over into here?
It's kind of a state of the community thing- I'm under the impression people are bringing shit like that up to paint people they have issues with in a bad light as opposed to making any sort of real change in how the community functions. It's seemed like 95% focused on what people are doing on their friends' servers as opposed to what they're doing on Dinks if it's someone who hasn't joined the community in the past 6 or so months. The newer folks here that aren't entrenched in server lore or haven't come in knowing longtime community members have it lucky in that people only know what they see in this community on that person. But with so many of us being here for literal years, we know more about each other for better or worse, and anyone "new" brought into any loops by those who are friends with certain people come in with a bias.
To comment further on admin involvement- I think is unacceptable by any means if administrators going into private spaces with the sole intent to find "dirt" on people. As a general rule I think it should be up to people within that space to bring anything to admins if they have concerns about things- and those things really should be limited to severe issues/things that transcend any particular space they're occurring (law violations included, obviously, too). It's not an admin's job to police who can be friends with who.
Back on to topic of staff apps including this one- the only staff apps I see with generally focused discussion and focus on Dink's are those of our newer community members or those that were inactive for a long time/recently rejoined. I don't think I've seen a staff app yet of any longtime community member who has generally remained active at the very least since the April fallout, possibly earlier, that has some sort of attempt to undermine it with long-held biases or grudges, outside content, etc. I'm not asking people who have personal reasons to dislike someone to kiss and make up, but rather take a step back and remember that we're all part of the same community and we'll need to speak what we actually want out of that and the people who staff it in regards to what they do in Dinks first and foremost.
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07-08-2024, 10:07 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-08-2024, 10:58 PM by alichay. Edited 1 time in total.)
(07-08-2024, 07:29 PM)Foxka Wrote: (07-08-2024, 06:55 PM)Damien1579 Wrote: (07-08-2024, 06:48 PM)Foxka Wrote: -1 not comfortable with someone who, to this day, unironically slurs while preaching lgbt inclusiveness.
![[Image: IMG_9569.png?ex=668dcc1b&is=668c7a9b&hm=...4e6c839e3&]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1259344815653650432/1260019502863613982/IMG_9569.png?ex=668dcc1b&is=668c7a9b&hm=d5b32ab4d5f7bf3b8c2effc862864e7049b753be92e5e9399a7bf014e6c839e3&) I am a pansexual person who uses that word with queer people and some cis-het people in private spaces where this word is allowed. The person I used this word with in this screenshot also reciprocated and used the word with me despite being cis-het lol. The fact that this even got leaked and used as evidence to -1 me is insane to me but anyways yes, queer people will commonly use the main word bigots call them in private queer spaces as either an term of endearment or just for the sake of taking the word back from bigots. Being pansexual doesn't excuse using slurs. A slur is a slur. I'm also a part of these spaces (I've identified as pan for 10+ years and am under the trans flag) and do not agree with your stance of it as a term of endearment or "taking the word back from bigots". This is just an excuse for poor behavior. You didn't even say this to a lgbt person either so i'm not sure why you're including this in your reasoning, as that is quite literally just spreading hate. I understand both you and the person you send these DMs to both say the slur to each other but that does not make it OK.
Your spaces might allow it but mine sure don't. Personally I wouldn't want to be a part of that kind of space if that's what's encouraged there. And I certainly don't want to see that in the space of the staff team.
this is really strange. every space i've been in that is primarily queer people has people calling each other this, even as a term of endearment. holding this against damien is ridiculous, he shouldn't be saying this on the server (not that he has), because it's mixed company, but as a gay & trans person myself, queer people are ALWAYS calling each other this. my trans friends and i call each other the t slur. i have a bi friend and some pan friends and we constantly call each other the f slur.
if you're uncomfy with that personally, that's your prerogative, but if people these words are targeted against want to reclaim them - especially in a private space - holding that against them is ridiculous.
this is just silly. damien unequivocally has the right to say that word.
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