[RussEfarmer]

nah we just digging dirt now huh
no disrespect to foxka but the "a slur is a slur" argument doesn't hold up in a good percentage of social spaces (non-professional ones, anyway) and I wouldn't consider it valid to cross over using a slur for a group you are included in at a private space to how well the person performs as a staff member
+1 to damien in this app they have proved themselves to be a mature individual who can handle themselves in most situations

[Nate]

No matter the context, it’s still bad to say and yeah I shouldn’t be saying that either obviously. I will own up to it and say that I have had a history previously of saying it and obviously don’t gotta forgive me for it cause it’s stupid asf and horrible. But, saying it because you are part of a group doesn’t really justify saying it no matter what. It’s still bad. Nothing will justify saying it just because you have access to saying it. Obviously for me, same thing. I’m not gonna deny it that it’s in bad use and I will be honest about it.

I am not using me being queer as an excuse for using the word, I am saying that in PRIVATE SPACES where the word is allowed why should I be punished or denied for using it? lol. Nate isn't African/African American but he literally owned and purposefully used a Karuta card with the N Slur in it where Foxka and Slater can see it, why didn't they bring it to the admins or post it somewhere where it could be dealt with? Because it was a PRIVATE SPACE where that kind of behavior was allowed and tolerated. Why are we using evidence from these spaces while actively pushing for punishment for behavior from these spaces? It's hypocrisy - "the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not confirm".

A lot of people on this thread only want to have a moral grandstand against my behavior in spaces where my behavior is tolerated and allowed, but when their friends do it in the same kinds of spaces they could give a flying fuck lol.

     I'm not exactly sure why I was brought into this. I know you felt it was a relevant example, but I feel like I've explained this all once before. About the card, it wasn't always just explicitly the N slur. Yeah, the card may have had some racist intentions since the beginning, but it wasn't always as explicit. I will not name names and I did not add the card, but I drunkenly claimed the card one night out of pettiness towards someone else who DID want the card. I then forgot about the card the next day and stopped using that iteration of the bot. After some time, the card was then changed into the N slur. All the while, I had forgotten that I had it until April happened. I have also already apologized to the person(s) of color that interacted with the bot that may have gotten offended from the card.

     Regarding you being staff, I find that you are just way too immature. I have known you for years now and I haven't seen a bit of growth. Over the years, I've seen just about every part of you, and I can never tell which part of you is the real you and which part is an act. You can either be super friendly, fun, and just a cool person to be around; or you can be super toxic and hateful when certain people or groups are not around. Another small issue I have is when you try to backseat staff too much. I have seen you do it several staff members, including me. This isn't even necessarily a bad thing, but it is almost always unneeded and comes across as cocky almost every time.

     I wanted to keep a lot of what I'm about to mention to stay behind the thread in the staff discord, but seeing that I was brought up on this post; I decided why not?
I honestly don't care if you use homophobic slurs behind private discords. My problem comes from the intent behind such words. These slurs are often followed by extremely toxic behavior and hypocrisy.

       My biggest issue with you becoming staff derives from one of my last interactions with you from earlier this year. After this interaction I told myself to strictly limit my time spent around you. You, me, and a few others were in a discord call one day, and we were all playing CS. To my knowledge, I had done nothing to upset you, and I wanted to ask you a question. In the middle of the round, I try to get your attention by going, "Hey, Damien?" I wait a few seconds and you yell very hatefully, "What the fuck do you want?!" I was taken aback a bit so I jokingly say "Woah woah woah, what's with the attitude?" A few of us start laughing about it and I also jokingly added " I just wanna know why you're at the bottom of the leaderboard." It was at this point you started being extremely hostile towards me the entire game. Throughout the game, you started doing things like: making snarky remarks after I died, calling me slurs after I did anything such as getting in your way, and telling me to kill myself several times. After the game ended, you called me the F slur several times and said
"Kill yourself Nate. Kill yourself. Seriously, I want you to kill yourself. You're such a f*****." After this, you started describing a certain way I should kill myself.
You've stated "queer people will commonly use the main word bigots call them in private queer spaces as either an term of endearment or just for the sake of taking the word back from bigots." Is that what this was? Was telling me to kill myself and calling me slurs a term of endearment? Was this your way of taking these words back from "bigots such as me?"

     As a survivor of attempted suicide, it is absolutely disgusting that I have had to go to different discord server owners in the past over you telling me to kill myself multiple times; and then to hear you tell me to repeatedly kill myself and describe the way I should do it months later? I understand the argument of "people change and grow over time" and while that is a completely valid argument; I have absolutely zero reason to believe that you have. I have known you 4-5 years now and I haven't seen you change a bit. You act differently for a while, depending on what you're trying to achieve in the community and then go back to toxic behaviors that I've always seen you display.

-1 on Trusted.

[NECRO]

While I don't personally use the f-word I have been called it in terms of endearment by multiple people. Even if someone were to use it in a negative context toward me I would just find it funny. That doesn't mean it's an okay thing to do to the general public but that's also an entirely different scenario than what has been shown. I don't really understand why a picture in the same context of endearment is being twisted into some vice of hatred. Personally I feel most if not all staff have said far worse whether in terms of dark humor or not, and it would be hypocritical to deny an app solely off what is pretty much a non problem.

[Damien1579]

     I'm not exactly sure why I was brought into this. I know you felt it was a relevant example, but I feel like I've explained this all once before. About the card, it wasn't always just explicitly the N slur. Yeah, the card may have had some racist intentions since the beginning, but it wasn't always as explicit. I will not name names and I did not add the card, but I drunkenly claimed the card one night out of pettiness towards someone else who DID want the card. I then forgot about the card the next day and stopped using that iteration of the bot. After some time, the card was then changed into the N slur. All the while, I had forgotten that I had it until April happened. I have also already apologized to the person(s) of color that interacted with the bot that may have gotten offended from the card.

     Regarding you being staff, I find that you are just way too immature. I have known you for years now and I haven't seen a bit of growth. Over the years, I've seen just about every part of you, and I can never tell which part of you is the real you and which part is an act. You can either be super friendly, fun, and just a cool person to be around; or you can be super toxic and hateful when certain people or groups are not around. Another small issue I have is when you try to backseat staff too much. I have seen you do it several staff members, including me. This isn't even necessarily a bad thing, but it is almost always unneeded and comes across as cocky almost every time.

     I wanted to keep a lot of what I'm about to mention to stay behind the thread in the staff discord, but seeing that I was brought up on this post; I decided why not?
I honestly don't care if you use homophobic slurs behind private discords. My problem comes from the intent behind such words. These slurs are often followed by extremely toxic behavior and hypocrisy.

       My biggest issue with you becoming staff derives from one of my last interactions with you from earlier this year. After this interaction I told myself to strictly limit my time spent around you. You, me, and a few others were in a discord call one day, and we were all playing CS. To my knowledge, I had done nothing to upset you, and I wanted to ask you a question. In the middle of the round, I try to get your attention by going, "Hey, Damien?" I wait a few seconds and you yell very hatefully, "What the fuck do you want?!" I was taken aback a bit so I jokingly say "Woah woah woah, what's with the attitude?" A few of us start laughing about it and I also jokingly added " I just wanna know why you're at the bottom of the leaderboard." It was at this point you started being extremely hostile towards me the entire game. Throughout the game, you started doing things like: making snarky remarks after I died, calling me slurs after I did anything such as getting in your way, and telling me to kill myself several times. After the game ended, you called me the F slur several times and said
"Kill yourself Nate. Kill yourself. Seriously, I want you to kill yourself. You're such a f*****." After this, you started describing a certain way I should kill myself.
You've stated "queer people will commonly use the main word bigots call them in private queer spaces as either an term of endearment or just for the sake of taking the word back from bigots." Is that what this was? Was telling me to kill myself and calling me slurs a term of endearment? Was this your way of taking these words back from "bigots such as me?"

     As a survivor of attempted suicide, it is absolutely disgusting that I have had to go to different discord server owners in the past over you telling me to kill myself multiple times; and then to hear you tell me to repeatedly kill myself and describe the way I should do it months later? I understand the argument of "people change and grow over time" and while that is a completely valid argument; I have absolutely zero reason to believe that you have. I have known you 4-5 years now and I haven't seen you change a bit. You act differently for a while, depending on what you're trying to achieve in the community and then go back to toxic behaviors that I've always seen you display.

-1 on Trusted.

The reason I brought up your Karuta Card is because of the fact that that word, that card was even allowed to be used within the server. I think the fact that it was allowed without anyone in that group trying to bring it to light that it was allowed is hypocrisy considering that it is a slur being used in a private place (which is what happened to me lol)

I don't even think I've backseat staffed since before I was staff last time, it's kind of silly. You can have whatever your opinion on me as a person is but I still think it's coming from a place of judgement from your perspective as opposed to seeing it from mine and judging it off of both. I don't see myself as an inherently toxic person and that's okay to disagree with.

This next part of the post I will try to be as clear as I can in stating that I am not excusing my actions nor am I trying to say what I said was justified. What I said to you was wrong, I did not know of your history with that subject and I didn't know it would effect you that much. You were spam inviting me and spam kicking me in Quantum's server and I was getting heated so I was being really mean to you. It was super fucked up and I apologize for that. I thought those kinds of toxic jokes were par for the course in the server where multiple community members are called all sorts of names and other toxic shit happens in but regardless I should've not done that. If you would've messaged me about this I would've apologized then and there privately as opposed to publicly now but regardless I am sorry for the way that I acted towards you in that moment.

I think your comments about the change of my character are a little disingenuous considering you have +1'd my apps before and noted my change of character and growth as a person in the +1's themselves. I think you agree with your friends in your group and that's whatever. It's either bias or just your opinion on it changed.

[NECRO]

Damn now I feel kind of shitty. I didn't know any things stated above. I'm sorry if I've interjected or appeared to have diluted the issue in any way.

[RyanHighman]

9 pages is more than enough for a trusted app. Especially when everyone is getting dragged through the mud.

As my parting comment, this was supposed to be an app about Damien. Bringing outside parties into this is unacceptable. Especially on topics that have been resolved and put to bed.

As for messages done in private servers or DMs: They should never be used against someone in Dinks unless we are talking about things directly related to dinks events, extreme cases of harassment, or GSU level items. Even then, those should be brought to the admin team. They aren't things to be used in public as a "gotchya" moment. Some may argue that these outside messages might show someone's character, but isolated messages or events with no context just dont do that. That goes for your DMs, Damien. And it also goes for the April incident.


Please, for the love of everything, lock this thread and hand down a decision.

[PandaInPants]

Trusted apps out here having more pages than admin apps nowadays... please go -1 tdawg4 and +1tdawg https://www.dinklebergsgmod.com/site/sho...?tid=19651

[Nate]

     I'm not exactly sure why I was brought into this. I know you felt it was a relevant example, but I feel like I've explained this all once before. About the card, it wasn't always just explicitly the N slur. Yeah, the card may have had some racist intentions since the beginning, but it wasn't always as explicit. I will not name names and I did not add the card, but I drunkenly claimed the card one night out of pettiness towards someone else who DID want the card. I then forgot about the card the next day and stopped using that iteration of the bot. After some time, the card was then changed into the N slur. All the while, I had forgotten that I had it until April happened. I have also already apologized to the person(s) of color that interacted with the bot that may have gotten offended from the card.

     Regarding you being staff, I find that you are just way too immature. I have known you for years now and I haven't seen a bit of growth. Over the years, I've seen just about every part of you, and I can never tell which part of you is the real you and which part is an act. You can either be super friendly, fun, and just a cool person to be around; or you can be super toxic and hateful when certain people or groups are not around. Another small issue I have is when you try to backseat staff too much. I have seen you do it several staff members, including me. This isn't even necessarily a bad thing, but it is almost always unneeded and comes across as cocky almost every time.

     I wanted to keep a lot of what I'm about to mention to stay behind the thread in the staff discord, but seeing that I was brought up on this post; I decided why not?
I honestly don't care if you use homophobic slurs behind private discords. My problem comes from the intent behind such words. These slurs are often followed by extremely toxic behavior and hypocrisy.

       My biggest issue with you becoming staff derives from one of my last interactions with you from earlier this year. After this interaction I told myself to strictly limit my time spent around you. You, me, and a few others were in a discord call one day, and we were all playing CS. To my knowledge, I had done nothing to upset you, and I wanted to ask you a question. In the middle of the round, I try to get your attention by going, "Hey, Damien?" I wait a few seconds and you yell very hatefully, "What the fuck do you want?!" I was taken aback a bit so I jokingly say "Woah woah woah, what's with the attitude?" A few of us start laughing about it and I also jokingly added " I just wanna know why you're at the bottom of the leaderboard." It was at this point you started being extremely hostile towards me the entire game. Throughout the game, you started doing things like: making snarky remarks after I died, calling me slurs after I did anything such as getting in your way, and telling me to kill myself several times. After the game ended, you called me the F slur several times and said
"Kill yourself Nate. Kill yourself. Seriously, I want you to kill yourself. You're such a f*****." After this, you started describing a certain way I should kill myself.
You've stated "queer people will commonly use the main word bigots call them in private queer spaces as either an term of endearment or just for the sake of taking the word back from bigots." Is that what this was? Was telling me to kill myself and calling me slurs a term of endearment? Was this your way of taking these words back from "bigots such as me?"

     As a survivor of attempted suicide, it is absolutely disgusting that I have had to go to different discord server owners in the past over you telling me to kill myself multiple times; and then to hear you tell me to repeatedly kill myself and describe the way I should do it months later? I understand the argument of "people change and grow over time" and while that is a completely valid argument; I have absolutely zero reason to believe that you have. I have known you 4-5 years now and I haven't seen you change a bit. You act differently for a while, depending on what you're trying to achieve in the community and then go back to toxic behaviors that I've always seen you display.

-1 on Trusted.

The reason I brought up your Karuta Card is because of the fact that that word, that card was even allowed to be used within the server. I think the fact that it was allowed without anyone in that group trying to bring it to light that it was allowed is hypocrisy considering that it is a slur being used in a private place (which is what happened to me lol)

I don't even think I've backseat staffed since before I was staff last time, it's kind of silly. You can have whatever your opinion on me as a person is but I still think it's coming from a place of judgement from your perspective as opposed to seeing it from mine and judging it off of both. I don't see myself as an inherently toxic person and that's okay to disagree with.

This next part of the post I will try to be as clear as I can in stating that I am not excusing my actions nor am I trying to say what I said was justified. What I said to you was wrong, I did not know of your history with that subject and I didn't know it would effect you that much. You were spam inviting me and spam kicking me in Quantum's server and I was getting heated so I was being really mean to you. It was super fucked up and I apologize for that. I thought those kinds of toxic jokes were par for the course in the server where multiple community members are called all sorts of names and other toxic shit happens in but regardless I should've not done that. If you would've messaged me about this I would've apologized then and there privately as opposed to publicly now but regardless I am sorry for the way that I acted towards you in that moment.

I think your comments about the change of my character are a little disingenuous considering you have +1'd my apps before and noted my change of character and growth as a person in the +1's themselves. I think you agree with your friends in your group and that's whatever. It's either bias or just your opinion on it changed.

     I don't remember excessively kicking you from calls and such unless it was a group thing and we were messing around and joking with you. The last time I had spam invited you to that discord server was more than two months prior. Either way, it was a bit uncalled for; especially when I had told you that it was fucked up after the first couple times you told me to kill myself. I know you didn't know the history, which is part of the reason why I accept your apology; but none the less, nobody should ever be going that far on a joke like that.
 
     I can't really say I know exactly what you mean when you speak of "my group". I assume you are referring back to the "Dong's group" vs "Reina's group"? If so, I had several friends in both "groups" until I was alienated by a certain few and accused of "siding with one group" and accused of things like being a racist and leaking. Absolutely none of those things are true. Yes, I am friends with many people in Dong's server, and the same went for Reina's server. I called out and still call out things I find to be bullshit and poor behavior on both sides.

     About +1'ing your applications in the past, I couldn't find examples from this year or last, but I didn't look too hard and you're probably right anyway. At the time of any +1 I gave you, it was because I was under the impression that you had grown and changed a lot. However, throughout time, I have changed to be under the impression that a lot of the friendly behavior you seem to put on before you apply for staff is an act. Also throughout time, I had a lot of hope that you would continue to change until I started to see more and more toxic behavior displayed from you.

[Damien1579]

   I don't remember excessively kicking you from calls and such unless it was a group thing and we were messing around and joking with you. The last time I had spam invited you to that discord server was more than two months prior. Either way, it was a bit uncalled for; especially when I had told you that it was fucked up after the first couple times you told me to kill myself. I know you didn't know the history, which is part of the reason why I accept your apology; but none the less, nobody should ever be going that far on a joke like that.
 
     I can't really say I know exactly what you mean when you speak of "my group". I assume you are referring back to the "Dong's group" vs "Reina's group"? If so, I had several friends in both "groups" until I was alienated by a certain few and accused of "siding with one group" and accused of things like being a racist and leaking. Absolutely none of those things are true. Yes, I am friends with many people in Dong's server, and the same went for Reina's server. I called out and still call out things I find to be bullshit and poor behavior on both sides.

     About +1'ing your applications in the past, I couldn't find examples from this year or last, but I didn't look too hard and you're probably right anyway. At the time of any +1 I gave you, it was because I was under the impression that you had grown and changed a lot. However, throughout time, I have changed to be under the impression that a lot of the friendly behavior you seem to put on before you apply for staff is an act. Also throughout time, I had a lot of hope that you would continue to change until I started to see more and more toxic behavior displayed from you.

That's a fair stance and it is an absolutely valid stance to take, It was extremely fucked up. I never got messaged about this from any server owner (Including quantum) or any message from you about it and I would've 100% apologized then and there. It was an extremely toxic moment and I yet again apologize for it. (I am glad you accept my apology)

I am referring to your group as in more than just "Dong's group" It includes a lot of people and for atleast 1-2 years now they have hated me and been harassing me in their private spaces and plotting/planning against me for no reason (I can tell*) other than who I was associated with. If I recorded everything and took screenshots and used it as a gotcha moment like that's been tried against me on this thread and in the past, I could've showed it here but regardless I think being harassed by this group for this long is so silly. 

Edit*: I am not saying you are participating in the harassment, you are in that group of people and have definitely seen it go on. If you look in any of the servers that group is in there's a whole 18 page document there to dissect.

It's not an "act" I put on, I just gauge my behavior for the community. Everyone does this to some extent and even people you are friends with and have supported for staff. If everyone knew how a lot of staff acted outside of this community they wouldn't want them as staff. Refer to the "Friend Group A Joke with Friend Group B" meme, it's kind of like that rather than I act entirely different within the community.

[Nate]

   I don't remember excessively kicking you from calls and such unless it was a group thing and we were messing around and joking with you. The last time I had spam invited you to that discord server was more than two months prior. Either way, it was a bit uncalled for; especially when I had told you that it was fucked up after the first couple times you told me to kill myself. I know you didn't know the history, which is part of the reason why I accept your apology; but none the less, nobody should ever be going that far on a joke like that.
 
     I can't really say I know exactly what you mean when you speak of "my group". I assume you are referring back to the "Dong's group" vs "Reina's group"? If so, I had several friends in both "groups" until I was alienated by a certain few and accused of "siding with one group" and accused of things like being a racist and leaking. Absolutely none of those things are true. Yes, I am friends with many people in Dong's server, and the same went for Reina's server. I called out and still call out things I find to be bullshit and poor behavior on both sides.

     About +1'ing your applications in the past, I couldn't find examples from this year or last, but I didn't look too hard and you're probably right anyway. At the time of any +1 I gave you, it was because I was under the impression that you had grown and changed a lot. However, throughout time, I have changed to be under the impression that a lot of the friendly behavior you seem to put on before you apply for staff is an act. Also throughout time, I had a lot of hope that you would continue to change until I started to see more and more toxic behavior displayed from you.

That's a fair stance and it is an absolutely valid stance to take, It was extremely fucked up. I never got messaged about this from any server owner (Including quantum) or any message from you about it and I would've 100% apologized then and there. It was an extremely toxic moment and I yet again apologize for it. (I am glad you accept my apology)

I am referring to your group as in more than just "Dong's group" It includes a lot of people and for atleast 1-2 years now they have hated me and been harassing me in their private spaces and plotting/planning against me for no reason (I can tell*) other than who I was associated with. If I recorded everything and took screenshots and used it as a gotcha moment like that's been tried against me on this thread and in the past, I could've showed it here but regardless I think being harassed by this group for this long is so silly. 

Edit*: I am not saying you are participating in the harassment, you are in that group of people and have definitely seen it go on. If you look in any of the servers that group is in there's a whole 18 page document there to dissect.

It's not an "act" I put on, I just gauge my behavior for the community. Everyone does this to some extent and even people you are friends with and have supported for staff. If everyone knew how a lot of staff acted outside of this community they wouldn't want them as staff. Refer to the "Friend Group A Joke with Friend Group B" meme, it's kind of like that rather than I act entirely different within the community.

While I do forgive you, I will still have my doubts until I see what I perceive as honest and true growth. I truly hope that your statements are true and I don't see that type of behavior displayed again; as I do hope the best for you. If you want to take the rest of this to DM's, I'd love to discuss more; as I am genuinely curious as to who and what you are exactly referring to.