[Salty]

Introduction

LET ME BE VERY CLEAR NOW; PLEASE THOROUGHLY READ WHAT I SAY BEFORE YOU CHOOSE TO RESPOND.

       Hey guys, I want to share information with you all. What I'd like to discuss with the community in general is how I believe we should approach dealing with/settling conflict. For reference on  why I think what I have to say is important, I have experience as a leader in real world scenarios: section leader at marching band (conflict/drama happens A LOT in band), supervising at a grocery store, teaching a classroom.  The point of mentioning all this experience with people is to prove that I've dealt with people and conflict a lot, and often. In this thread, I will explain my thought process on how to deal with conflict in a professional manner.

 A Healthy Approach to Conflict

      The greatest tidbit I've ever heard about conflict is knowing when to pick and choose your battles. "Ask yourself; will this matter to me in 5 years?" 95% of the time, it doesn't. You cannot physically try and fight every single possible battle that ensues, that's what causes burnout in both staff and regulars alike. If your situation is in fact something more serious, try everything in your power to avoid trying to settle your differences through text. Using text messages has one major flaw, and it's especially prominent when it comes to dealing with conflict: every individual reads text and processes it differently. For example, sometimes someone on TTT or any server really will say something for "ironic purposes," for a lack of a better term; some people will read it as a joke and laugh it off, while others will take it extremely serious and react negatively to it. There's nothing wrong with either side just for clarification, it is just an observation. 

      When you are handling a conflict, please do your best to try and handle it PRIVATELY. There is nothing worse than trying to make a big scene out of it, as all that will do is frustrate both parties even further and cause unnecessary drama. Since we're dealing with the internet here, logically speaking, the best method to handle it is to get into a call of some kind. When you're addressing issues, do not be overbearingly accusatory, just discuss your issue with the other party in a logical manner. Never try and solve anything with pure emotion because just like when you are trying to make a public dispute, you do nothing but frustrate yourself and the other party/parties involved. Sometimes emotion is necessary, but it has to be done with moderation. You can still show you're frustrated by speaking logically instead of throwing insults or screaming at someone. 

If the other party does not wish to try and resolve said issue calmly and collectively, that is when you get a staff member involved. 

**DO NOT JUST JUMP STRAIGHT TO AN ADMIN UNLESS YOUR SAID ISSUE IS SOMETHING THAT IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS; MOST SERVER ISSUES CAN BE HANDLED BY A TRUSTED AND TESTMOD, WHO CAN THEN RELAY INFORMATION OF YOUR SITUATION TO THE REST OF THE GROUP.** 

If said issue continues after a staff member intervenes, it is time to either go to a Moderator or an Admin about the issue, or make a ban request on the forums if you think it'd be better.  At that point, it's your discretion that determines what the best option is.

Lastly, I would like to introduce a concept of "hierarchy" to demonstrate how you should go about bringing up an issue to the staff team.

Dink: Never contact about anything; it is the Admin's job to discuss things with Dink. 

Admin: Only go to for EXTREME situations, want to relay something to Dink, or if a Moderator defers you to an Admin.

Moderator: Go to a Moderator if you are dealing with something
that is a serious situation that you aren't comfortable posting on the forums (I.E a ban requests) or if a Test Mod defers you to a Mod 

Test Mod: Generally, the staff with this rank have more experience (duh), so if a
Trusted cannot answer your question about something on server, ask a Test Mod.

Trusted: COME HERE FIRST! ALWAYS ASK A TRUSTED FIRST, AS A MAJORITY OF QUESTIONS ASKED CAN BE ANSWERED BY A TRUSTED.

CONCLUSION

I believe that we can solve a vast majority of our problems by taking a step back and asking ourselves "is it really worth arguing/fighting over" and by approaching others with decency and be willing to hear someone out when you are dealing with an issue. Being closed minded when dealing with conflict does not help, as it usually just makes tension and frustration increase. 

Thank you for your time, and feel free to leave any sort of feedback, criticism, or contribute to the discussion.

[Foxka]

I'm going to say this, go to who you trust will handle your situation regardless of whatever ranking they have. Staff is not a hierarchy, they are all equal.

[Salty]

I'm going to say this, go to who you trust will handle your situation regardless of whatever ranking they have. Staff is not a hierarchy, they are all equal.

Staff have equal voices, but not equal experience/power in the community. For example, an Admin can veto what the rest of us say if they disagree with what we are saying; in other words, they get the final word. As for the other thing you said, I was recommending that you go to a trusted first because IN THEORY, they most likely get a LOT less dm's than let's say an admin or a moderator so they can get back to you in an ample time. It's to try and save admins from answering questions that someone else can easily answer. Common sense dictates that the admin will know all the answers, but the trade off with that is you might have to wait a very long time to get a response because they have a lot on their plate.

[JesseTheUndeadCowboy]

I can actually kinda see a lot of good points here.... I’ll probably try out some of these tips whenever I need to. Also I can understand you can’t fight every battle but I feel like more people should help out sometimes. Like when no staff member can get on or isn’t on I usually might have to record incidents if people are misbehaving. It’s kinda hard doing that all by yourself sometimes. It’s even harder since I have to use demos and that takes time for me to publish. I know we do have people helping out from time to time but I feel like we should all do our best to help each other at times when trying to help the server. Just my thoughts on it. I already do appreciate the people who do help though.

[MissPauling]

I made this a point when PH staff had a meeting, come to trusted, then tmod, then mod and last resort is bothering Fish unless absolutely necessary. That being said, of course you should be able to approach any member of any team when/if needed. But 90% of the time, the question/concern can be sorted out by the bottom of the totem pole before moving up.

I personally hate when people call me out in a group setting, so I always do my best to address concerns or issues privately, of course I've had my moments where I've unfortunately called someone out in a group and did feel horrible about it. But if someone where to come to me with a concern/issue, I would absolutely do my best to try and fix it. If I was unable, I would suggest they seek higher or I would relay the concerns for them and report back with what I've been told.

But, before I came staff, I definitely had certain members of staff I trusted more than others to relay my issues with. So I can also understand that. Bottom line, if you feel comfortable to seek out help from staff and it starts at the bottom and moves up - great. If you're not comfortable and seek help from someone you trust - also great.

[Alec]

if anyone applied this type of thinking to real life, not even gmod, then the world would be a better place honestly. +1 salty for prez

[Salty]

if anyone applied this type of thinking to real life, not even gmod, then the world would be a better place honestly. +1 salty for prez

 
You nailed it right on the coffin. We have so many people who just let their emotions do their thinking for them, and it causes so many unnecessary issues.

[JesseTheUndeadCowboy]

if anyone applied this type of thinking to real life, not even gmod, then the world would be a better place honestly. +1 salty for prez

 
You nailed it right on the coffin. We have so many people who just let their emotions do their thinking for them, and it causes so many unnecessary issues.

Yeah. I feel like there should be a balance of using emotions and logic sometimes. It’s kinda hard to do that though for some including myself but I try my best not to let emotions cloud my mind mostly. That’s not to say I never make emotional decisions. We are all humans after all. Sometimes you have to use emotions but use it with logic too if that makes any sense.

[Alec]

if anyone applied this type of thinking to real life, not even gmod, then the world would be a better place honestly. +1 salty for prez

 
You nailed it right on the coffin. We have so many people who just let their emotions do their thinking for them, and it causes so many unnecessary issues.

Yeah. I feel like there should be a balance of using emotions and logic sometimes. It’s kinda hard to do that though for some including myself but I try my best not to let emotions cloud my mind mostly. That’s not to say I never make emotional decisions. We are all humans after all. Sometimes you have to use emotions but use it with logic too if that makes any sense.

Yeah I am speaking from someone who has had issues on the server with behavior at times, so I think me and everyone else engaging in this type of thought process would make the TTT server a better experience for everyone.

[BillyBob]

a lot of problems are people feel like they are always in the right no matter what so they aren't even willing to listen to the other side or allow them to talk, all them want is to respond : (