[NO NAME]

It's gonna seem quite odd making another resignation as I made one just a month ago, which entirely makes sense. But for some odd reason I convinced myself to return not even a few days later as it just felt nice to interact and fuck around with most of you all here, ttt and PH.

I think my mental state has deterioriated to the point where no matter what I do, I cannot stay happy for long and most things are just a distraction for me. I understand I am quite hard to deal with sometimes, especially as it is quite hard for me to interact with people and remember important details in conversations.

The main reason I am making this post is because I hit my limit just now. Without going into much detail, I found out my father has fallen ill and I don't really know how he is doing at the moment. Guess he is having heart problems and severe high blood pressure. I just cannot imagine life without him. I want to assume he is ok, but being optimistic is quite rare for a pessimist like myself. If that is a bit too personal for some people I genuinely apologize. I just needed somewhere to vent and I know a lot of you all here. 

Also, I think a lot of people know I drink on the server. And quite a lot at times. Sometimes I feel as if I use it as a way to cope but it's not a healthy mechanism for my overall wellbeing. Even while drunk I try my best to stay within the rules and occasionally I get that I make people annoyed. I take full responsibility for anything I have done whilst drunk, it was my choice to drink and say things. Even if it doesn't happen much at all. People who drink a lot and use alcohol as an excuse for their foul actions frankly disgust me.  

I just need to actually help myself, and most importantly I need to be there for my dad. I'm not really sure what to do right now. I've mainly just given up and don't care. I hate to be this pessimistic and all but it's the truth. I'm just done.

Appreciate everyone who has been kind to me and been there for me throughout the years. Might be active on the forums here and there. But I just can't do this anymore. I just need to fucking do something about all this. 

Hope to see you all again soon. Take care.

[slater]

Hey No name, while I don't really know you that well, I hope that everything goes well for you. I really do. Especially in that scenario, it's very hard to be optimistic on such a very saddening and disheartened family issue. I'm glad you shared and are able to vent out but I also want to try to at least give you some words if I can, whether you take them to heart or not is up to you. Family issues like that are hard to deal with, I've been through it myself and had lost one not so long ago and it's hard to see that outcome for anyone, even close ones, but always try to look for the other optimistic outcome. Aside from that, drinking as well is another bad habit and I hope that you are able to find a habit that benefits you in any way, like a hobby to keep you going. I had been down that rabbit hole and I had to dig myself out of it and I found something to keep me going and full of energy and I hope that you find something that can bring that feeling for you, whether it's playing games, doing any hobbies you like, or even going to the gym if you like. Everyone has their own taste on what helps them and I hope that you are able to get out of this rabbit hole you are in and be able to do this. I believe this is good experience for you to try to get over this big hurdle or obstacle in your life and I believe that you are strong enough to get over this. I wish you the best of luck my friend and stay safe. 

[NO NAME]

Hey No name, while I don't really know you that well, I hope that everything goes well for you. I really do. Especially in that scenario, it's very hard to be optimistic on such a very saddening and disheartened family issue. I'm glad you shared and are able to vent out but I also want to try to at least give you some words if I can, whether you take them to heart or not is up to you. Family issues like that are hard to deal with, I've been through it myself and had lost one not so long ago and it's hard to see that outcome for anyone, even close ones, but always try to look for the other optimistic outcome. Aside from that, drinking as well is another bad habit and I hope that you are able to find a habit that benefits you in any way, like a hobby to keep you going. I had been down that rabbit hole and I had to dig myself out of it and I found something to keep me going and full of energy and I hope that you find something that can bring that feeling for you, whether it's playing games, doing any hobbies you like, or even going to the gym if you like. Everyone has their own taste on what helps them and I hope that you are able to get out of this rabbit hole you are in and be able to do this. I believe this is good experience for you to try to get over this big hurdle or obstacle in your life and I believe that you are strong enough to get over this. I wish you the best of luck my friend and stay safe. 

Don't remeber how to snip replys, but hope that ain't a problem. I've seen you on here for a long time but I haven't chatted with you a whole lot slater. I appreciate the kind and most importantly honest word you gave me. For starters I just need to find a new job, not working for 5 months has made me feel so damn lazy and I hate it. But I just want to fix it for once instead of pretending issues don't exist. And again, I blame no one but myself for my hardships. I don;t expect sympathy or anything, but sometimes it's just nice to see a positive comment here and there. I've regressed a lot since 2019. But I want to finally fix myself and at least put the effort in. Appreciate everything you've done. Not just right now, but for dinks as a whole.

[slater]

-snip-

Don't remeber how to snip replys, but hope that ain't a problem. I've seen you on here for a long time but I haven't chatted with you a whole lot slater. I appreciate the kind and most importantly honest word you gave me. For starters I just need to find a new job, not working for 5 months has made me feel so damn lazy and I hate it. But I just want to fix it for once instead of pretending issues don't exist. And again, I blame no one but myself for my hardships. I don;t expect sympathy or anything, but sometimes it's just nice to see a positive comment here and there. I've regressed a lot since 2019. But I want to finally fix myself and at least put the effort in. Appreciate everything you've done. Not just right now, but for dinks as a whole.

Getting a job is a good starter, especially something to keep you busy. Both not having a job and having a job is a curse cause you don’t want either but as long as you got one then the income is important. You don’t have to pretend that the issues don’t exist, rather face them and take care of one at a time and go from there. It’s good to own up on your mistakes and issues and be able to tackle them rather then run away which is what I had to learn. Be sure to fix your problems and work on yourself so you don’t have to keep going down that hole that you keep digging. Only you can be able to pull yourself out and you sometimes have to rely on yourself to make those decisions, not anyone else. But thank you, I just try to help out wherever I can. Just be sure to take a break from stuff to focus on yourself when you need it.

[Icey]

I'm so sorry No Name.... I really can't imagine how you are feeling. Please know that you will always have a spot here and every one of us would be more than happy to talk to you. Don't isolate yourself and don't give up. Try to minimize stress on things out of your control and just keep pushing, no matter how shitty or unfair things seem. From my interactions with you, I know that everything is going to work out just fine. Stay strong my friend and know that you, your dad, and your family are in my prayers.

[ToxicVoid7]

My dad died like 10 years ago but that to me is vastly different to what you can potentially feel, because I hated my dad for certain reasons but I still felt hollow inside when I found out he died (How he died was under very suspect circumstances), so it's not over until it's over buddy just keep pushing thru and trucking on, I really like this quote even though I have felt exactly what you are feeling, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". I hope you get thru this, become stronger and be a better person because of it, god speed my friend, I will pray for you and your dad. <3

[Foxka]

Take care of yourself man :(

[Potato]

Take care man. I was fun playing with you. If you ever need anything, I’m only 1 PM away. See ya around 

[Blu]

I'm so sorry about your father NO NAME, I will keep him in my prayers day and night, taking a break and focusing on other real-life stuff and improving yourself is the best choice you can ever make man, best of luck and wishes to your future NO NAME! <3